Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I Bet You Think This Song Is About You

Vanity publishing!  Yes, I have just done it!  I've been slinging around a pile of short stories at poor, unsuspecting publishers for years.  Regretfully, they were on to me and I've never had anything published.  Well, not anymore!

I stitched together the best ones (and a couple of odd poems) and come up with 90 whole pages of content.  If you act now, you can get all of this in a pdf for free.  Okay, if you act in a hundred years, you still can get it all for free in a pdf.  This is really just an excuse to bundle up all my old work so I can start fresh in this new decade.  I really enjoy them, but it's time to go send them to human lands where they can meet a wife and have children.

The cover has absolutely nothing to do with the stories.  You may recognize the little red dude.  Yeah.  He's up there growling too.  Hey - I bought the picture - I'm going to use the picture.

I also made a  hard copy version available.  That's really just so I can print out some copies for the family.  If you really want to buy it - go ahead - but I warn you - I haven't even seen a copy and have no idea if it looks horrific or not.  I did edit and proof the actual contents over the last few years - so that should be halfway decent.  But how the printed bit looks - no idea.

What you get inside:

Table of Contents

The Value of a Second - (sci fi vignette)
Where to Play - (post apocalyptic Beatles story)
Dawn at Olympus - (the gods must be drunk)
Tech Support Mantra - (outsourcing poem)
Don't Cleanse Your Scent Glands for Me - (smelly sci-fi)
Robert E. Howard’s Last Manuscript - (what evil lurks in Cross Plains?)
Drops of Jupiter - (mopey sci-fi)
Bacon Ranch Salad y Happy Meal - (um, not really sci-fi, more geek)
Reflections - (hard sci fi)
Customer Service - (throbbing sci-fi)
The Squirrels - (RUN!)
Beacons of Light - (power suits galore)
Lyman Alpha Blobs - (astrophysics poem)
Sidebar - (what hath man wrought?)
The Transformation of Harvey in the Valley of the Butterfly Spores - (thump thump)
Ode to a Tachikoma - (Ghost in the Shell poetry)

Here is the Link - > The Value of a Second and Other Flights of Fancy

Enjoy!  Or, well, don't enjoy.  Your choice. :)

- Ark


  1. This is very cool. Good for you. Very fun. Thanks for the link. I'm going to save it for when Tim gets home so we can download it. Again, great job. Go you.

  2. @Whisk - Uh-oh. Potential readers. You've got me nervous now.

    The stories were written over a period of 20 years, with various styles and level of quality. If a story isn't interesting within the first sentence, please skip to the next story and it may be more to your liking.

    That's the theory, at least.

    Thanks for braving the tome.

    - Ark

  3. Hey Ark: 20 years ago. Very cool. Today I found a short story that I wrote 14 years ago. It was fun to read.

    What will you work on next?

  4. @Whisk - It's fun finding old stories. I've run into quite a few I don't remember writing. Sometimes that forgetting was out of self-protection, apparently. :)

    Next project? I have two ideas. The first is for a D&D module. Talked to an artist about art for it, but am still waiting for a reply.

    The second idea is a book. I've read so many 'submissions guidelines' that say not to write a story about a bunch of people going on a D&D adventure. You know what - I say to heck with all of that. I want to write a book about a bunch of people going on a D&D adventure! I mean, if the gaming companies can do it, why not me? But I'd do it OSR style - with named Labyrinth Lord spells and classes and such. No publisher will touch me with a ten foot pole anyway, so I might as well have fun. :)

    - Ark

  5. Having fun writing, is the best. I'm with you. Go for it. Tim writes modules too. Or are they adventure modules? Anyway, he's been working on those and it's a great deal of fun to edit.

    Good to read about your ideas. Right now I have one manuscript for a kids book, resting. I'm on hold for six weeks or so. I like having a good chunk of time to step away and then go back for more rewrites.

    Cold here today, but the sun was out all day and I loved it. Got my chores done early and didn't have to go to the shop today. Woohoo. Now I'm about to settle down and call it a night. Hope you have a great weekend.

    Until next time, Happy Writing and Eat Well.

  6. @Whisk - If you get real lazy about it, they are 'mods.' I've read his post about them. Very cool.

    Sitting on a book - that is hard. Not cause the corners are sharp either. :) Have any published?

    Happy Superbowl weekend.

    - Ark

  7. Just my non-fiction has been published but that was a long time ago. Be great to get an agent and have my book published, too.

    Did you ever read Stephen King's On Writing?

  8. @Whisk - I had to go look that up to see if i ever did. No, I don't think I have. I suppose that I should have years ago? :)

    - Ark

  9. It's a great read. It's a fast read. We reread it again recently. I enjoy that one. If you ever read it, I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts.