Thursday, March 24, 2011

I Never Look At My Blog Stats

I am so confident in my posts that I just don't need to look.  I know I am awesome.  I know my words are golden.  Readers swoon at my insights. I can lift cars with one hand.  My toenail clippings can cut through steel.  I can pound nails into oak planks with my penis.  I never even think of the statistics.

Um, well, on occasion, I take a peek.

By 'take a peek,' I mean that I stare at the numbers and charts until I bore a hole though my flatscreen and then click on the REFRESH link over and over again until the good folks at Blogger have to ban my IP to protect themselves against the Denial of Service attack.

What follows are a few things I've learned.  I don't do this to brag.  I do this to show you how much better your blog is doing compared to mine. :)

The big number is 6,445.  That is the 'Pageviews all time history' stat.  Most of that was generated since January when I began to blog seriously.  I am blown away by that.  That is well over 100 times the hits I've gotten in all other project - combined - since 1994.  Wow.  Thanks for watching.

The post with the most hits is "Moonlighting," a brief little ditty about exposed ass cracks at the FLGS with 255 hits.  However, most of those hits are from images searches of the picture I have in the posting of Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd.  The big search keywords are 'Moonlighting Reunion.'  This comes from Google pages all over the planet - Canada, Australia, France, Korea, Japan, Belgium, Germany, and Russia.  So what it appears like is that people all over the world are DESPERATE to know if David and Maddie will get back together again.

Sorry guys, but no, they won't.  The love is gone.

The second highest page is 'Fish in the Sea,' from people searching for FISH IN THE SEA.  Mostly from France.  WTF?  I don't get that.  Why are the French so interested in knowing about FISH IN THE SEA in ENGLISH!?!?

The biggest game related search is 'Forgotten Realms.'  I bet people are not expecting to stumble into my rants on the subject. :)

Google is how most people get to the site.  Here is the referral breakdown for blogs:


I just gotta say - the amount of people who use Jeff's Blog as a bookmark list must be STAGGERING.

As far as Locations go, 63% of readers are coming from the US.  Our neighbors to the frigid north comprise 12 percent.  Those crazy tea swilling islanders over in Europe are about eight percent. Germans, whom contributed to about half of my genetic makeup, tied Denmark for two percent.  The other 13 percent are scattered from all over the world, with Brazil and India making huge leaps recently.  WHERE ARE THE IRISH?  Come on guys.  Suck it up and read the blog.

Firefox users are 49% of the users.  I'm not sure what all the rest of ya'll are thinking, but hey - to each there own. :)  Windows is, of course, dominant with 74%.  I am just floored, however, that people are viewing the blog with their iPhones, iPads, Blackberries, and even the Nintendo Wii! 

Okay, enough of this nonsense. I shall actually have an interesting, game related posting soon.  I swear.  I just had to get that out of my system. :)

- Ark

PS - Oh, apparently I am a Maven or something now, per the follower XP table thing..  I always thought that a Maven was a chick.  The things you learn . . .


  1. Pretty sweet that I made you list of top referral sites. I'm glad that I'm steering people to your site. I can't compete with Jeff's Gameblog, though.

    Now, if I could just make Jeff's blog roll...

  2. The image a someone in France desperately searching with their Wii browser for FISH IN THE SEA had me lol at work. Thanks.

  3. Glad I could help with 157 of those. The Keep was one of the best things I've done...for something I created just to keep up with the news.

    Keep on posting :)

  4. the amount of people who use Jeff's Blog as a bookmark list must be STAGGERING.

    No. It's just me stalking you.

  5. UPDATE (to Jeff): Thanks, Jeff! You were my first OSR idol. I used your page as my own bookmark list until I assembled my own.

  6. Crazy tea-swilling islander here - glad to be of service!

  7. By the way, if you want more traffic, make more controversial posts. Ever since I starting stabbing sacred cows in the gizzards, my pageviews have been skyrocketing.

  8. I am a total stats junkie. I stare at mine, figure out who is reading what and where they are coming from.

    And like you with Moonlighting, I am a huge hit with the Xena and Gabrielle fans.

  9. Risus you are my top referral.

  10. @Pierce: That gives me a warm fuzzy.

  11. I think Jeff Rients is stalking me, too, for he is my biggest referral site as well, followed by James S. at Underdark Gazette.

  12. Carter you are my biggest referral site followed by Gothridge manor. My biggest hit with 4857 views is because of a picture of Anakin Skywalker. If you google image him I am image number 8. No accounting for taste - what about my real posts - small hits only. Ho hum.

    Stats page is too addictive and self destructive.

  13. @Risus - Yeah - you've got a lot of people churning though your blogroll!

    @Telecanter - Maybe it's lost English tourists looking for a way out of France?

    @AD&D Grognard - The Eternal Keep is AWESOME. I well over half the time I'm looking for blogs to read. The rest of the time I'm either using my own, or I'm lost somewhere. :)

    @Jeff - You had me laughing so hard for a couple of minutes there that I got a stitch in my side. After I calmed down, I started to worry . . .

    @Daddy Grognard - Yeah! Tea-swillers invented Fantasy over there cooped up on that little island with nothing better to do, didn't ya'll? Thanks for the Fantasy!

    @Greg Christopher - Oh, I can stir the shit with the best of them. I've just been in a nice mood recently. Dangit.

    @Whisk - Thanks and Hi!

    @Tim - Well, yeah, Xena and Gabrielle are a whole lot better than Dave and Maddie. Well, Better than Dave. :)

    @Carter - What out for that Rients guy. I hear he lays d30s on the lawn on Easter morning.

    @Jovial - YES! Addictive and self-destructive. I agree. It's like cigarettes, but without the pleasant aftertaste.


    - Ark

  14. Yep, I always hit Jeff's Gameblog first and use his blog roll to get to other sites. Not exclusively, but primarily.