Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Jesus Christ vs. Dungeons and Dragons
I loved that map.
My grandmother, on the other hand, was an old time, bible thumping, tent revival, fire and brimstone, speaking in tongues, casting out demons, book burning, rattlesnake handling, warrior for Jesus. Nothing was safe from her cleansing gaze. She found a OUIJA board hidden under my mother's bed once and burned it. My mother was 33 years old, married, with two kids at the time.
While I only saw the lady several times a year, this was apparently enough for her to gauge my personality. My grandmother pronounced me a 'hooligan who would burn for all eternity in hell' at the age of eight. I do not recall what I did to receive such judgment. Perhaps my disembodied head appeared to her in a dream spewing fire. I just don't remember.
Needless to say, Dungeons and Dragons was a huge issue. If she would ever have found my TSR stash, it would have been up in flames faster than the lady could switch from speaking English to speaking in Tongues. She knew I played it. I was a friend of Satan, so obviously, I played it. I had probably even attained the loathsome rank of 'Dungeon Master' in the cabal, she could just never prove it.
The thing I was interested in that she approved of was Star Wars. It was obviously the story of Space Jesus versus Space Satan. That kind of thing was okay. But the Smurfs - no way. Evil. The Smurfs promoted homosexuality, witchcraft, and necrophilia. It was obvious.
I was rather shocked when I discovered that other people began to agree with my grandmother. Kids echoing their parents, mainly.
"If we could play Top Secret, that would be okay, but mom doesn't want me playing D&D. It's a sin."
"My dad says I can't play with you because you play D&D."
"Dinosaur bones are actually whales put together wrong and when you burn D&D dice you can hear the the souls of the damned screaming."
God bless Texas.
So, years later and I'm pulling together a 4e group. The open call brought in a guy who had the potential of being a tad late to the Saturday evening games because of church. Well, that was a new one, but it was a good excuse as 'sorry dude, I just flaked' ever was.
Eventually, his ranger multi-classed into a cleric. I noticed that he never put down a word in the 'Deity' field on his character. He never did pick D&D deity specific powers like you can in 4e, either.
It wasn't hard to figure out what deity his character was worshiping, though he never did say.
I really just wanted to hug the guy and tell him that it was perfectly okay for his character to worship Jesus, and if anyone at the table had an issue with it, I'd give them the smack down. But being a dude, I just watched quietly. He stealthily went around doing clerical things in the background and no one gave him any shit about it. I have no idea if anyone really noticed.
It's funny how life works, isn't it? I'd have let my Grandmother worship Jesus too, if she'd have ever asked.