Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cold Steel's Great Sword

I had no idea a sword could do this, much less that a sword that could do this was being sold via infomercial.  Here is my advice: set aside nine minutes and five seconds of your life and watch this thing.  ALL the way to the end.  Makes you rethink AC.

I don't know how many times I swore out loud.  I had no idea there was such a things as sword porn.  Freud would be proud.




TWO HANDED GREAT SWORD
Specifications:
Weight: 109.5 oz.
Blade Thickness: 7/32"
Blade Length: 39 7/8"
Handle: 15 3/8" long. Leather Wrapped
Steel: 1055 Carbon
Overall Length: 55 1/4


http://www.coldsteel.com/twohandedgreat.html

- Ark

8 comments:

  1. If you want to gear up for the coming zombie apocolypse, buy your swords and other bladed weapons from Cold Steel. They do sharp very well!

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  2. I got their promo DVD several years ago (they seem to have upgraded their testing room!) and it is both awesome and hilarious. I see the twisted humor is still there -- the test on the boots filled with meat ... if that does not convince you, well, how about the pitch that this will keep you from 'ever being taken advantage of again' and that it is perfect for home defense?!?

    If they still off the DVD on their web site, get it now. You'll love it.

    I have many cheap, badly made swords and wish I'd had the foresight to just save up for one really good sword. Oh well.

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  3. The Cold Steel guys have a wide range of really neat hardware. I had the privilege of training with a Erupean medieval close-combat group a few years ago. It made me look at all RPG combat-simulation systems in a completely new light.

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  4. Wow. Okay, I always knew these things were deadly, but I'd never seen one in action. That's amazing.

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  5. Very cool.

    I'm glad someone finally decided to show the sort of damage these things, when properly made, can do.
    --Makes some of the bad 70's sword & sorcery flicks w. crazy swords look slightly less goofy...regarding the swords, that is.

    Thanks for posting this. :D

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  6. For something that will truly suprise you, check out the warhammer promotional video. D4 hp damage? I don't think so!

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  7. "Sword porn" is the perfect analogy. After the first three minutes, you're done and don't need to watch any more. :)

    This is like the Ginsu knife commercial of swords. It's like they sat around in a room and thought "How much different crap can we come up with to hack with our swords?" Dead animal carcasses? Check. Boots filled with meat? Check. Cinder blocks? Check. Ice blocks? Check. Rope? Check. Metal hood from a car? Check.

    Seriously, where do they get all that stuff? Pigs heads?

    I did really like the homage to the last scene of "Lady Hawke" when he threw the sword, though. Very nice.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  8. @Zanazaz - I'll definitely have to buy Cold Steel products for the next Zombie Apocalypse that is scheduled.

    @mikemonaco - Perfect for home defense. Yup. I may indeed need that DVD.

    @Harald - I had never heard of Cold Steel before. I guess I am a bumpkin.

    @Bard - Yeah - scary. I'd have definitely started running the moment the barbarians came into town.

    @Timeshadows - Yeah. Thing is - two swings into a fight and I'd be all tuckered out and need to rest for an hour - so it wouldn't be me that would be doing much damage. :)

    @Dangerous Brian - I watched that! Yeah. Who needs to slice through chain mail when you can just crush it into dust?

    @Martin R. Thomas - It's really a funny video - equal parts scary. I hear from some people 'i the know' that you can get pig heads at a place called 'the butcher.' I'm highly skeletal that such a place exists, though. o.O

    - Ark

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