Friday, August 26, 2011

Meet the Victims

It has come to my attention that some of you actually read this blog for my re-canting of the tales of joy and woe at the gaming table.  That's sort of odd to me, as one of the first things I learned about the cultural aspects of D&D Club was not to talk about D&D Club.  No no one really wants to hear about your 47th level Ranger.

However, it appears perfectly acceptable to talk about other people's 47th level Rangers. :)

So here is to the guys who actually write the stories I tell - the guys who put up with my blood rage, funny voices, innappropritae role play, and fuzzy rule recalling.  Come, meet the victims.

(Names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

The Boy - my tween son, who's been playing role playing games for four years now. He's a very crafty player, with a recent penchant for playing halflings - though he loves to make fighters named Regdar too.  The Boy achieved Manhood on Jun 8th, 2011, when his character was eaten by a giant carnivorous plant in a game of Metamorphosis Alpha run by JIM FRIKKIN' WARD.  I've never had such a proud or emotional moment in my life. I tear up just thinking about it.

Mervyn - a neighbor in his very early twenties.  Mervyn is an 'in your face' player - the kind of guy who looks for the largest monster in the batch and charges full steam into it.  His naturally high Charisma stat tends to convince others to do the same thing.  He's been playing war games, card games, board games, video games, and role playing games since he was an embryo, and enjoys pushing a game to it's limits.  I played D&D with Mervyn's father for a good long while, until he passed away last year.

Kaye - the new kid on the block.  He's a good friend of Mervyn's and around the same age.  He seems to like to play big, buff fighter types who do a lot of damage.  I'd guess that it might be more of a self-defense mechanism developed while playing with gung-ho Mervyn. :) Kaye watched us play, then wanted to play 4e with us. After that, he wanted to join my Labyrinth Lord game, so either he is mentally unbalanced, or he actually likes Old School Play. Or both, perhaps.

Ron - an old-ass gamer who is almost as old as me.  He always seems to have a game going somewhere.  He drives quite a way to get to the games, so I try to be mindful of that and present something interesting to him during games.  Ron is a thoughtful player, who likes to plan for contingencies and have all of his ducks in a row.  Regretfully, the universe hates Ron, and will fuck him over on just about any dice roll.  He once had three characters die - in a row.  He's a trooper, though, and slogs through whatever the universe hands him.

Tim - Stark . . . Raving . . . Mad. Tim is a Maelstrom of Chaos in a World Gone Wrong. The only predictable thing about him is that he is unpredictable.  In one game, he played a dragonborn who 'wore' a kobold in order to help convert it.  In that same game, he decided to play that very same kobold - as a converted monk.  This game, he is playing an elf who worships a god that doesn't exist.  To be honest, earlier in my career, I would have kicked Tim out of the group for his disruptive ways, but these days - I say screw it and let the chips fall where they may. :)

So that's the gang!  They are going to kill me for the pictures I drew of them - especially poor Tim - but oh well - it was worth it.

- Ark


  1. Tim sounds like my kind of player. Arioch!

  2. I think all but two of my current group are closest to Tim.

  3. Too cool! I think when you tell those awesomely funny stories from the gaming table from now on, you should do it comic-book style with these drawings. :)

  4. I agree with Bard, a picture will only make the stories more funny. :)

  5. Very good. I like celebration of the people behind the characters. You could keep a running count somewhere on the blog of what number character they are on.

  6. @ckutalik - Yes - the Lord of Chaos.

    @Taketoshi - Oh dear! I think I have a suport number that will help . . . :)

    @Bard - Oh geez. Really? My hands would never forgive me. I might try it sometimes - but I'm nt good, and I'm not fast.

    @matt - I need a staff artist, that's what I need.

    @Theo - Hmm - yanno, I'd do that - but they'd only start to purposefully kill themselves to see who got the higher score. :)

    - Ark