Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Right Tool For the Right Job

I did everything to warn the guys that the Invisible Mountain dungeon was out of their league.  They pressed on, not believing me, so I did my darnest to kill them with strength stat sucking shadows and worse horrors.  After having their asses handed to them over and over again, they finally decided that the '30 seconds of combat, a day of rest, 30 seconds of combat, a day of rest' pattern wasn't working well, so they went off to greener pastures.

Greener pastures are perfect places for random wilderness encounter rolls.

The party was travelling through a meadowed area within a forest when they heard a thump-thump-thump in the sky.  This has happened before.  They knew it was a dragon - most likely a green dragon.  They ran for the bushes.

Well, except for Thrug.  Out of the entire party, the half-orc fighter wasn't fast enough.  He sighed, drew his sword, and faced the green dragon bearing down on him.

"Let's do this!' Mervyn, the player, said.

The green dragon snatched at Thrug as he flew by, an easy snack to bring back to his lair.  I rolled and . . . missed.

"Can I jump on the dragon's leg as he goes by?"

"Um. I guess. Yeah.  You and the dragon jet up 80 yards as it continues its arc." I nodded.

The rest of the party hopped out of the bushes.

"Guys, I got this!" Mervyn said.

We are an Order of the d30 group, meaning that they get to replace one normal dice roll with a d30 each game session.  A barrage of arrows, sling bolts, and magic missles flew upwards. The d30 flew from hand to hand as they ripped the dragon to shreds.

"Guys," Mervyn muttered nervously.

The Boy got the killing blow.  The party watched the slow plummet of several tons of lizard meat as it fell from the sky, crashing to the ground on top of the hapless half-orc.

"Uh . . oops?"

Some time later, the PCs had dug a tunnel beneath the dragon's corpse to reach Thrug's body, which they began looting.

"Okay, so what do you got?" Ron asked Mervyn, pencil in hand.

Marvyn sighed, looking at his character sheet.  "That +1 sword, a shield, a potion of flying, a suit of plate armor . . ."

Mervyn was interrupted by Ron's laughter.


I smiled, "Oh, that potion of flying of yours was smashed to bits on impact"

The cog wheels slowly turned in Mervyns head, then it hit him.  "Dammit!  Dammit!  Dammit!  I forgot I had that!"  He facepalmed, then looked at me.  "That was so stupid.  You have to put that in that blog of yours."

I chuckled, "Oh, it'll be there alright - you don't have to ask."

I'm begining to wonder why I bother trying to kill them.  They do so well all by themselves. :)

- Ark


  1. LOL! Awesome story. As a player, I've had that happen to me a few times as well. Not being buried under a dragon, but realizing after the encounter that I had the right magic item to have turned a bad encounter into a good one...if I'd remembered I had it!

  2. Hehehe ... players can be worth their weight in gold at times just for the sheer entertainment value they give. Nice.

  3. LOL Excellent story. I agree with the EvilDM, sometimes I do my darnedest to entertain the players and too many times they have not only surprised me, but filled the table with riotous laughter at their silly comings and doings.

  4. You should send that in to Knights Of The Dinner Table - the majority of their Tales From The Table aren't that funny!

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Great story! Sir Timothy is right -- maybe you should think about submitting it to KoDT.

  7. Ha, I've been on both sides of that type of story. It's what makes gaming such a blast.

  8. @Lord Gwydion - It seems to be a common theme - forgetting what equipment you have. The party forgot that they had a frikkin cube of force too. :)

    @EvilDM - Hey - I keep on offering to kill them, they keep on showing up to be killed. It's a win-win. :)

    @matt jackson - Thanks. Yup - players can be quite awesome. Halmark should start a day for them, with cards and everything.

    @Sir Timothy Of Kent - You know, until you just mentioned it, I had never actually looked at a KOTDT. Some funny stuff in there. Thanks - I might just do that.

    @Bard - Okay, okay. Let me just figure out how . . . .

    @Tim Shorts - One day, I hope to be killed by a dragon like that. Until then . . I'll just have to live through others. I mean - die through others. ;)

    - Ark