Tuesday, October 4, 2011

All Hail King Torg!

by John Kovalic - NOT ME!
Things have been getting too serious around the gaming table as of late, so we have decided to play some Kobolds Ate My Baby. Okay, honestly, nothing around the game table is too serious. We just want to be even less serious.

Crazy-ass Tim will be GMing. Um, I mean PureStrainHuman. Maybe I should stop calling him Crazy-ass - since he's my new GM, after all, so I must be all nicey-nice and stuff.  Okay - maybe not.   I've never played before, and expect my new little life to be short, painful, and messy.

I want to play King Torg's (All Hail King Torg!) club-footed inbred brother-in-law - thrice removed - Schmecky Encephalitis - the tribe's Keeper of Wisdom.  Wisdom, of course, being the pet-name of the gangrenous growth on Schmecky's left nipple.

The Boy is pondering what his character's name should be, but per him, it definitely will not be Herpederpalitis. He is leaning towards Roast Beef Sandwich (and his faithful companion Mustard the Fly.)  Yes, the boy was eating lunch when he came up with that. :)

Oh - The Boy would like me to let all of you know that he would like his weapon to be a blade of grass - but the GM may feel that such a weapon would be too powerful and ban it.  Such is the life of a kobold.

Fun Kobold quote of the day:
Kobolds worship VOR, the Big Red Angry God™, which is understandable; wouldn't you be angry if you were the god of the Kobolds?  The only thing that Vor hates more than a Kobold is a coward, which is why Kobolds are the most fearless of all the intelligent (and we use that term loosely here) races.  Ironically, the complete and total lack of a sense of self-preservation is the only thing keeping the Kobolds going - any other race would have packed it in a long time ago, given up, and faded into extinction.

- Ark


  1. Thumbs up! This will be painfu- I mean awesome!

  2. Love that game. Have fun with it!

  3. Awesome game. Very cool and highly recommended.

    But too serious around the gaming table?

    (Looks at game shelf...Land of Og, Toon, Teenagers from Outer Space, his Muppet RPG, Smurfs RPG, Superhero projects, top secret next-crazy-thing project).

    I'm not sure I follow.

  4. @PSH - Painfully awesome?

    @Lord - Oh, we are - thanks. :)

    @Barking - Yeah - hard to imagine you having such a problem. ;)

    - Ark