Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Warning your DM

My Pathfinder DM - Merwyn - let me roll up a new Pathfinder character - a level higher than normal - if I used "in order" 3d6, as opposed to something more wimpy - like 4d6 minus lowest wherever you want.  I took him up on the offer and rolled this:

STR: 10
DEX: 9
CON: 12
INT: 14
WIS: 8
CHA: 17

Not horrible, but not what I would call a great spread for the classes I'm used to running.  After some research, I discovered that the Pathfinder Bard would work with those numbers.  I've never run a Bard - and never had any interest in doing so - but it gave me an idea.

Crazy-ass Tim plays a halfling thief in the game - Peter No-Parents.  Peter is min-maxed so that he can basically never be seen by anyone if he doesn't want to be, and can pickpocket just about anyone.  He also has an ability that makes him look just like a human child (i.e., street urchin,) rather than a halfling.  Peter No-Parents is basically worthless at anything else.

Peter is quite evil, and steals from the party.  Actually, Peter isn't really known to the party.  He hangs on the periphery and commits mischief.  Evey once in a while, a character might see a kid, but the kid walks on by, and no one is any the wiser.  It's really irritating (but funny,) and I designed a character specifically to detect and kill him.  That was Bloodspurt the half-orc paladin.  Bloospurt, regretfully, died - murdered by another party member (an assassin) for tying him up and trying to convert him to a Lawful Good diety.  Oh well.

My idea was . . . unusual . . . so I figured I had to warn Merwyn before I brought this character out for a spin.

Subject: A Warning


My rolls lean me towards a bard, and with the present make up of our party (I'm talking about players, not characters,) doing anything constructive or legal will be pointless. So I have made a trickster/scammer bard - a conman and entertainer in one.

It hit me that I can work Peter No-Parents into the act. I could continue on, earning full master level ranks for my Beard and Boobs badge, and make a female bard, and have that female bard pretend to be Peter's mom, for heightened scamming activity. It also gives Peter an avenue to actually be an active member of the party - even if maybe some party members never quite figure out what is going on. 
Tim and I discussed this briefly, and I believe we are both happy with the concept. Her name shall be Alouette - like in the French song (Ah-low-et-ta,) meaning a lark. Yes, she sings. And she dances. And she knows all about nobility and bluffing and disguise. She is quite greedy as well. 

Peter, will of course, be required to take a bath. And be fumigated.

So, basically - I'm warning you.

Run for the hills.

Your worst nightmare

We'll find out tonight at the Pathfinder game how well this goes over.  If you can't beat em, join em.

- Ark


  1. Fantastic idea. I want to hear more about those two.

  2. Sounds like a party that has trouble completing quests ;) We have a halfling thief in our party too, who also pretends he's a child and steals from the party loot. My halfling chef is on a mission to make him less 'naughty'.

  3. @Brian - Alas, Tim forgot to bring Peter No-Parent's sheet to the game, so he had to do with a stand in. We'll see what happens next time.

    @Simon - Trouble completing? Try trouble STARTING quest without burning down half the city. :)

    @Theo - Yup. Human.

    - Ark

  4. I hope you remembered your +2 to one ability score for being a human. ;-)

    1. I did Theo! She's tearing up the place with a 19 Charisma. :)

      - Ark