Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Phantom Penis

That, of course, is what I have called the movie for years.  It's my least favorite of the Star Wars films.  The Phantom Menace was a pretty big let down after so many years of waiting.  So, the announcement of a 3d-ifyed version didn't impress me a bit.  George Lucas' recent anti-fan rant impressed me even less.  So, I vowed not to hand Lucas any more of my money.

"But aren't we going to go see the movie?" the Boy asked, doe-eyed as I began to bad-mouth Lucas during a D&D game.


Despite constant viewing of the entire . . . hexology . . . my son has never seen a Star Wars movie in a theater.  Meanwhile, I was there for the first showing of the first movie in the Houston Galleria 34 years ago.  We viewed it again, and again, and again, in different venues, waiting in lines coiled multiple times around the outside of various theaters.

"You've seen it hundreds of times . . . you dont' really want to see it in a . . ." I stopped, looking into his eyes.


"Okay, we'll go," I smiled.

The first Star Wars movie commercial I saw, crammed between Saturday morning cartoons one early morning, sold me on the show immediately.  If my parents had said we weren't going to see the new movie, there would have been HELL TO PAY.

So we went yesterday.  I wore my goldenrod star fleet t-shirt in silent protest, but I went all the same.  We loaded up with coke and popcorn and plopped down in the big, comfy seats.

As always, the 20th Century Fox fanfare got me.

The 3d was . . . well . . . it was there.  It wasn't spectacular.  It wasn't annoying.  It was just there.  I am glad that I didn't get any gratuitous 3d Jar Jar tongues in my face.  But all in all, the movie wasn't that bad.  In fact, there are two parts of the film that I remembered I really liked - the pod race and the battle for Naboo.

It's hard to mess up exploding stuff.  And the noises from the pod race - the wub-wub-wub of Sebulba's turbines reverberating in your chest - I mean - that's something I can't get out of my TV at home.

And you've got to admit despite how annoying is when he's hitting on Padme - teeny-tiny Anakin makes a pretty cute little padawan at the end.

Sooo . . . yeah . . . I gave Lucas my money again.  Apparently, he'll be getting it at least five more times.  In the end, it's quite worth it to see the smile on the Boy's face.

- Ark


  1. You gave into the dark side, forever will it dominate your destiny...

    glad you liked it.

    1. @Jovial - yeah - now I just need to find a planet to destroy. Naboo looks very appealing for such an activity . . .


      - Ark