Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Florence and the TPK

DCCRPG Funnel in Action

We had our second DCC game on Saturday.  If you'll remember, I had an arrangement with the our DM in which I was playing a gaggle of potential initiates into a witch's coven - the survivor being granted membership into that select group.

Well, good old Florence had leveled up from Zero to One in the middle of the dungeon, and by the grace of another unlucky party member with a grimoire, learned all of her 1st level spells while stumbling around in the dark reading it.  Somewhere she had found a Vampirella outfit, and the rest was history.

After the dungeon, Florence had some questions for the witch's coven in town.  I was most interested in the immortal entity that was sealed up in the dungeon, and if it would make a good patron.

Come to find out, the witch's coven was just a bunch of emo goth girls who knew nothing about magic.


They were completely freaked that Florence could now light cigarettes without a lighter, kill people with a cloud of red gas, and rip herself into 7 ultra-dimensional copies at will.  So, Florence decided that she would become the new coven leader, and with the help of Bob the Butcher (he co-party demonic cleric,) taught the coven nonsensical and  embarrassing rituals involving running around naked in a corn field during the equinoxes and solstices and that to retain their imaginary witchcraft power that they had to remain virgins forever and ever.

Okay, yeah, that one is going to come back and haunt me - but is was hilarious.

After shaking down the mayor of the town for everything he had, the party left.  Florence grabbed one of the coven members, a beggar girl named Clarissa, to be her personal lackey.  I mean, retainer.  Adminstrative assistant.  Um . . . horse watcher.

So,   the party made their way across country, following Bob the Butcher, who was following a black ram with red glowing eyes, who was being led by his demonic deity, to somewhere where Bob had to do something.  You know - standard adventure.  Will the Ranger, Kyrus the Smack-downer, and Florence the Well-Groomed were just along for the ride.

After a dungeon crawl where I'm sure the party pissed off every underground faction possible, including any potential allies, things came to a head in a room with a glowing electrical ball on a pedestal and a vast amount of angry hooded mages.

We were having our assess handed to us as the hooded goons broke though our lines and began dealing heavy damage.  I was sure the electric ball was important.  I suggested to the Boy that he pick it up and throw it at the mages.

Even if it did no damage, well, it should have been good for some battlefield chaos.

The Boy had Will the Ranger pick it up.  Well . .  that is not exactly what happened.  Will touched the electric ball and he turned to dust.

Yeah.  Oops.

I kept on blowing Florence's spell casting rolls.  That's harsh in DCC.  One success would have turned the battle, but nope.  It was not going to happen.  Bob was knocked to 0 hp, leaving Florence, Kyrus, and a room full of hooded goons.

So, Florence did the math - screeched - and fell down on the floor in her finest imitation of a possum.  Kyrus then was knocked down to zero and went splat.

Florence remained motionless while the hooded cultists moved all of the bodies (and charred dust) to an altar called the 'Altar of Life,' or somesuch thing.  There were dead bodies in voting booths and it got kind of confusing, but Florence slunk off of the altar before the bolts hit here dead friends and somehow moved their minds into the minds of the dead bodies in voting booths.

In the confusion, she hastily donned an ornamental hood and tried to blend in with everyone.  I got a distinct Sandahl Bergman sneaking into the Serpent Temple vibe.  But that's about where we left off - with everyone else rolling up new characters - new stats, new professions, new bodies - everything - but the same names and memories.

So, it was a TPK - minus one. Sort of.   Maybe Florence pretended to be dead well enough to appease the Gods of Death.  Maybe?  Just a little?  Pleeeeeaaasse?


- Ark

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