Showing posts with label Gaming Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gaming Life. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Campaign Timelines
For years now, I've had every intention of taking good notes when I run a campaign. Typically what I'm left with is piles of papers with rows of descending hit point totals, hastily scribbled npc names, and chicken scratching that I'm not exactly sure what are. Campaign journaling rarely works out for me. But I do gather up my notes on occasion and try to stitch them together to see what has happened. Luckily, I have a pretty good memory for imaginary happenings, so usually everything adds up.
At the simplest level, I like to create timelines - like the one below. This is for my Stars Without Number campaign. Such a list is handy because I create it in excel and can do odd date math on the fly - which is especially nice since now spreadsheets can handle dates into the far future. With an autosum, I can see that the campaign has lasted 311 days - Earth days, that is.
Little titles and notes keep everything straight in my head, and I can remember if an NPC was planning on hunting down and killing the party - and how long that npc has been formulating the plan and stalking them - waiting for the time to be ripe. You know, typical stuff to make the players paranoid. ;)
So that's why I like to do. How are YOU at note taking?
| Place/Event | Duration | Start Date | Events of Note | |
| Travel/Stay | ||||
| Halal System | 1 | 1-Jan-2300 | Ship assaulted by Captian Kaylah Tabari. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 7-Jan-2300 | On the Edmund Fitzgerald (Methan owned.) | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 9-Jan-2300 | '' | |
| Jaisalmar System | 2 | 11-Jan-2300 | Hijacked ore shipment on ice world. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 13-Jan-2300 | On the Edmund Fitzgerald. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 5 | 18-Jan-2300 | '' | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 20-Jan-2300 | '' | |
| Hephaestus System | 87 | 17-Apr-2300 | Meet Methans, destoyed casino, Sgt. & Adam KIA. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 19-Apr-2300 | On the Konjiki Yasha (Methan bio ship.) | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 25-Apr-2300 | '' | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 27-Apr-2300 | '' | |
| Metha System | 1 | 28-Apr-2300 | Accepted by Methans. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 5 | 3-May-2300 | On the Fort Knox (Methan accountant transport.) | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 5-May-2300 | '' | |
| Perdurabo - Hard Light | 2 | 7-May-2300 | Begin clandestine criminal investigation. | |
| Travel to Comet | 2 | 9-May-2300 | On the Leadbelly with Captain Ranse Hardlee | |
| Stay in Comet | 4 | 13-May-2300 | Exploring tomb of the Ushans (asparagusheads) | |
| Travel to Hard Light | 3 | 16-May-2300 | On the Leadbelly with Captain Ranse Hardlee | |
| Perdurabo - Hard Light | 15 | 31-May-2300 | Foil evil plot on Hard Light | |
| Travel to Colony | 2 | 2-Jun-2300 | On the shuttle Bon Grunj with pilot Kingston | |
| Stay in Colony | 62 | 3-Aug-2300 | Fight pirates and capture pirate ship | |
| Travel to Hard Light | 2 | 5-Aug-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Perdurabo - Hard Light | 2 | 7-Aug-2300 | Fuel up and say goodbyes. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 9-Aug-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 15-Aug-2300 | '' | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 17-Aug-2300 | '' | |
| Euphrates System | 1 | 18-Aug-2300 | Refuel at mining asteroid. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 20-Aug-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 26-Aug-2300 | '' | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 28-Aug-2300 | '' | |
| Tigris - Blue Saturn | 49 | 16-Oct-2300 | Destroy 2 pirate ships, meet the Kingpin. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 18-Oct-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 24-Oct-2300 | '' | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 26-Oct-2300 | '' | |
| Nile System | 1 | 27-Oct-2300 | Return Thad, meet Captain Zarkon of White Chapel. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 29-Oct-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Interstellar Travel | 6 | 4-Nov-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Interplanetary Travel | 2 | 6-Nov-2300 | Aboard the Fat Tuesday. | |
| Amazon System | 1 | 7-Nov-2300 | Arrive at Kyroth Colony. PLANT ATTACK! |
- Ark
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Ferrit by Angel
I had Angel Urena do another commission for me - this time of Ferrit, The Boy's first Labyrinth Lord character. I think he did an excellent job - and Ferrit the Hobbit now terrifies me. That's one bad-ass halfling!
- Ark
- Ark
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Chartreuse by Angel
Below is a commission of my character Chartreuse in Crazy-Ass Tim's Second Edition D&D Game by Angel Urena. He's the same guy who did the Angry Demon Looking Dude that I've used as a banner for the blog for over a year now. I think Angel's work is completely awesome - you can go check out his gallery on deviantArt.
Right now, Angel is doing character commissions for dirt cheap. I mean dirt. Go look. Quickly, of course, since who knows when he'll close down the commissions. If you've ever contemplated having a character drawn - now would be the time.
Again, not my art. Waaay too good to be mine. (Not Yet, Anyways!)
- Ark
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Outsourced Game Report and Sketchdump
The Boy ran his Labyrinth Lord game last week. It was a good old fashioned Holmesian-B/X style dungeon. The party was made up entirely of gnomes. Okay - Kaye played a half gnome/half orc. I'm not sure what gnomish zeitgeist was in the air - but it worked.
The game started normally in a tavern, and turned strangely Salvador Dali-esque as my son's brain spewed forth with the imagination that only an 11 year old can wield. He far exceeded my meager attempts at being a DM when I was the same age. I had a lot of fun.
Crazy-Ass Tim has a wonderful report on our shared lucid dreaming session, which I suggest you check out. I don't think I could have described it any better.
Meanwhile - please enjoy the sketchdump below:
- Ark
The game started normally in a tavern, and turned strangely Salvador Dali-esque as my son's brain spewed forth with the imagination that only an 11 year old can wield. He far exceeded my meager attempts at being a DM when I was the same age. I had a lot of fun.
Crazy-Ass Tim has a wonderful report on our shared lucid dreaming session, which I suggest you check out. I don't think I could have described it any better.
Meanwhile - please enjoy the sketchdump below:
- Ark
Monday, February 6, 2012
North Texas RPG Con 2012
I just registered the Boy and I for the North Texas RPG Con. I'm pumped. Last year was very cool.
It's happening in June, from the 7th till the 10th.
The line-up of special guests so far is:
Sandy Petersen, Tim Kask, Jennell Jaquays, Erol Otus, James M. Ward, Frank Mentzer, Jason Braun, Rob Kuntz, Steve Marsh, Steve Winter, Dennis Sustare, Jeff Dee, Jack Herman, Pete Kerestan, Zeb Cook, and Diesel LaForce.
I'm particularly excited about the awesome artists in that list. Some of you may have noticed I've been on a drawing kick as of late. :)
The first thing I guess I should do is apologize to Zeb Cook. I've been bad-mouthing second edition for decades - but now I regularly play it and am enjoying it. Ooops. Sorry Zeb. Musta beena brain fart or something.
- Ark
It's happening in June, from the 7th till the 10th.
The line-up of special guests so far is:
Sandy Petersen, Tim Kask, Jennell Jaquays, Erol Otus, James M. Ward, Frank Mentzer, Jason Braun, Rob Kuntz, Steve Marsh, Steve Winter, Dennis Sustare, Jeff Dee, Jack Herman, Pete Kerestan, Zeb Cook, and Diesel LaForce.
I'm particularly excited about the awesome artists in that list. Some of you may have noticed I've been on a drawing kick as of late. :)
The first thing I guess I should do is apologize to Zeb Cook. I've been bad-mouthing second edition for decades - but now I regularly play it and am enjoying it. Ooops. Sorry Zeb. Musta beena brain fart or something.
- Ark
Friday, January 27, 2012
New DM Advice
The Boy has decided to take the plunge and run a one shot Labyrinth Lord game next week. Two years ago, he referreed a game of Savage Worlds - doing very well I might add, but has not been back to that side of the screen since then.
He's eleven years old now, which was the same age that I started DMing. However, he has four years of experience playing rpgs, so he has a huge leg up, and I anticipate that his first game will be about 17 bazillion times better than mine.
The Boy is a bit apprehensive about the prospect of DMing, and the advice his old man has given him probably hasn't calmed his nerves any. I can be somewhat of a morose, haphazard, lazy, doom-and-gloom style game planner. (Just try to kill them - all - horribly - with random monsters and traps far tougher than them. A lot. It's easy! Story? Pffft!) Works for me - but maybe not anyone else.
So, The Boy would gladly appreciate any advice from OTHER PEOPLE on how to DM, pull a one shot together, etc.
Thanks in advance. :)
- Ark
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Zak's Question Thingy
Okay, I'm finaly getting around to answering Zak's question thingy:
1. If you had to pick a single invention in a game you were most proud of what would it be?
If realm of game mechanics, I'd say the Dead Simple Lock & Trap Mini-Game.
2. When was the last time you GMed?
Last Saturday.
3. When was the last time you played?
Last Wednesday.
4. Give us a one-sentence pitch for an adventure you haven't run but would like to.
An adventure based on Lorna, The Ark, one of Alfonso Azpiri's Heavy Metal stories. Kind of like Metamorphosis Alpha, except with less clothing.
5. What do you do while you wait for players to do things?
Move on to the next player. Gotta keep things rolling. If I'm waiting for ALL the players, then I calmly and quietly plot their deaths.
6. What, if anything, do you eat while you play?
Spaghetti, pizza, buffalo wings, beef jerky, peppermint candy, very small rocks, sloths.
7. Do you find GMing physically exhausting?
Never physically - but mentally - yes.
8. What was the last interesting (to you, anyway) thing you remember a PC you were running doing?
Last session in Stars Without Numbers, one of the PCs who happen to have been a spy robot that could change his physical form impersonated a security officer on a space station and got swept into an illegal cage fight below decks. Hilarity ensued and even the Boy joined in in another cage fight.
9. Do your players take your serious setting and make it unserious? Vice versa? Neither? Yes. Yes. It flows back and forth and all around.
10. What do you do with goblins?
Make them tricksey.
11. What was the last non-RPG thing you saw that you converted into game material (background, setting, trap, etc.)?
A UFC cage fight. The fact that the cage fight in the game was a naked cage fight was purely my invention.
12. What's the funniest table moment you can remember right now?
The Boy, after fighting in a naked cage fight, forgetting to put on his clothes and going all medieval on an agitated spectator, gutting him to death with a moly knife, then suddenly realized what he had done and slapping a Lazarus patch to bring the poor corpse back to life.
13. What was the last game book you looked at--aside from things you referenced in a game--why were you looking at it?
Actually - Big Eyes, Small Mouth. I just found it in a pile of old manga and I forgot that I had kept it.
14. Who's your idea of the perfect RPG illustrator?
In the early days, Erol Otus and Jeff Dee. Later, Elmore was my man. A couple of years ago, Wayne Reynolds. These days - John Kovalic. :)
15. Does your game ever make your players genuinely afraid?
Yes. But then again, we are talking about my son.
16. What was the best time you ever had running an adventure you didn't write? (If ever)
I'd say back in high school running the I3-5 Desert of Desolation series. It has a nice Egyptian flair and fits so well into the whole tomb robbing thing. There were a lot of tricks and traps and mysteries for the party to solve.
17. What would be the ideal physical set up to run a game in?
A room with a big table and chairs.
18. If you had to think of the two most disparate games or game products that you like what would they be?
Rolemaster and Big Eyes, Small Mouth.
19. If you had to think of the most disparate influences overall on your game, what would they be?
H. P. Lovecraft and Lao-Tse.
20. As a GM, what kind of player do you want at your table?
Seriously non-serious people who can be serious when required.
21. What's a real life experience you've translated into game terms?
Joining a religious cult.
22. Is there an RPG product that you wish existed but doesn't?
An rpg that replicated real life physics, physiology, and psychology - scaled well from individuals to armies - and was equally effective replicating stone age to super science. Oh - and is easy to play and whose entire ruleset can be memorized by my feeble mind so I never have to look at the book.
23. Is there anyone you know who you talk about RPGs with who doesn't play? How do those conversations go?
Honestly, they don't.
- Ark
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Warning your DM
My Pathfinder DM - Merwyn - let me roll up a new Pathfinder character - a level higher than normal - if I used "in order" 3d6, as opposed to something more wimpy - like 4d6 minus lowest wherever you want. I took him up on the offer and rolled this:
STR: 10
DEX: 9
CON: 12
INT: 14
WIS: 8
CHA: 17
Not horrible, but not what I would call a great spread for the classes I'm used to running. After some research, I discovered that the Pathfinder Bard would work with those numbers. I've never run a Bard - and never had any interest in doing so - but it gave me an idea.
Crazy-ass Tim plays a halfling thief in the game - Peter No-Parents. Peter is min-maxed so that he can basically never be seen by anyone if he doesn't want to be, and can pickpocket just about anyone. He also has an ability that makes him look just like a human child (i.e., street urchin,) rather than a halfling. Peter No-Parents is basically worthless at anything else.
Peter is quite evil, and steals from the party. Actually, Peter isn't really known to the party. He hangs on the periphery and commits mischief. Evey once in a while, a character might see a kid, but the kid walks on by, and no one is any the wiser. It's really irritating (but funny,) and I designed a character specifically to detect and kill him. That was Bloodspurt the half-orc paladin. Bloospurt, regretfully, died - murdered by another party member (an assassin) for tying him up and trying to convert him to a Lawful Good diety. Oh well.
My idea was . . . unusual . . . so I figured I had to warn Merwyn before I brought this character out for a spin.
Subject: A Warning
Merwyn,
My rolls lean me towards a bard, and with the present make up of our party (I'm talking about players, not characters,) doing anything constructive or legal will be pointless. So I have made a trickster/scammer bard - a conman and entertainer in one.
It hit me that I can work Peter No-Parents into the act. I could continue on, earning full master level ranks for my Beard and Boobs badge, and make a female bard, and have that female bard pretend to be Peter's mom, for heightened scamming activity. It also gives Peter an avenue to actually be an active member of the party - even if maybe some party members never quite figure out what is going on.
Tim and I discussed this briefly, and I believe we are both happy with the concept. Her name shall be Alouette - like in the French song (Ah-low-et-ta,) meaning a lark. Yes, she sings. And she dances. And she knows all about nobility and bluffing and disguise. She is quite greedy as well.
Peter, will of course, be required to take a bath. And be fumigated.
So, basically - I'm warning you.
Run for the hills.
Sincerely,
Your worst nightmare
We'll find out tonight at the Pathfinder game how well this goes over. If you can't beat em, join em.
- Ark
Friday, December 9, 2011
Ellen-14
Ellen-14 is a non-player character in our Stars Without Number campaign. The picture doesn't do her justice - but it is similar enough to her appearance to get the point across.
The lady is ten feet high, twenty feet wide, and thirty feet long. She is somewhat rock shaped, and her tough skin is a gray and black color - the kind you find on certain bloated ticks found in the foothills of Arkansas. She has a human head emerging from the gray skin a bit over five feet up from the floor, and underneath it hang two human arms. Having no feet, she moves around like a horta.
Ellen-14 is a human-alien hybrid. Actually, Ellen-14 isn't just one entity - the name is a signifier for an entire brood of approximately 100 individuals - the 14th generation since initial hybridization. All of the individual Ellen-14s are pretty much the same, and they keep in contact with one another to avoid drifting apart mentally.
The aliens who designed Ellen-14 (and the many other hybrid variants,) are known as the Metha. The Metha look pretty much like Ellen-14, but without the human head and the human arms. They have been sentient for half a million years, and have spent most of that time doing bioengineering work - redesigning themselves - and their biosphere - countless times. Currently, their bodies house 15 to17 brains - some genetic copies of other alien species that they met in the past.
The Metha fit into the Stars Without Number alien classification of 'Other' - alien beings that are too different from human beings to communicate with or understand. After a series of brutal wars after first contact, the Metha created the human-metha hybrids as an attempt to understand humanity and communicate with them. The Metha are completely oblivious to the fact that the mere sight of Ellen-14 and her various sisters and brother causes most humans to run in abject fear.
Ellen-14 does, however, bridge the gap between humans and methans. She has 18 brains inside of her - one of them human, and they all chat with one other through bizarre chemical interactions, radio waves, and pulsing light. She is well aware of how she looks, as well. "Oh my," she will often say, "You think I look hideous. I do. I cannot argue. But I couldn't find a thing to wear today that didn't make me look bloated!"
Ellen-14 is also a smart-ass.
The player characters have - strangely - taken a shine to Ellen-14 and her brood sisters. I'm not sure why. She is their 'Mr. Johnson," in Shadow-run speak. They are still very nervous about the pure methans, though. It might have something to do with the aliens engaging in thermonuclear war as a sport. But who knows.
- Ark
The lady is ten feet high, twenty feet wide, and thirty feet long. She is somewhat rock shaped, and her tough skin is a gray and black color - the kind you find on certain bloated ticks found in the foothills of Arkansas. She has a human head emerging from the gray skin a bit over five feet up from the floor, and underneath it hang two human arms. Having no feet, she moves around like a horta.
Ellen-14 is a human-alien hybrid. Actually, Ellen-14 isn't just one entity - the name is a signifier for an entire brood of approximately 100 individuals - the 14th generation since initial hybridization. All of the individual Ellen-14s are pretty much the same, and they keep in contact with one another to avoid drifting apart mentally.
The aliens who designed Ellen-14 (and the many other hybrid variants,) are known as the Metha. The Metha look pretty much like Ellen-14, but without the human head and the human arms. They have been sentient for half a million years, and have spent most of that time doing bioengineering work - redesigning themselves - and their biosphere - countless times. Currently, their bodies house 15 to17 brains - some genetic copies of other alien species that they met in the past.
The Metha fit into the Stars Without Number alien classification of 'Other' - alien beings that are too different from human beings to communicate with or understand. After a series of brutal wars after first contact, the Metha created the human-metha hybrids as an attempt to understand humanity and communicate with them. The Metha are completely oblivious to the fact that the mere sight of Ellen-14 and her various sisters and brother causes most humans to run in abject fear.
Ellen-14 does, however, bridge the gap between humans and methans. She has 18 brains inside of her - one of them human, and they all chat with one other through bizarre chemical interactions, radio waves, and pulsing light. She is well aware of how she looks, as well. "Oh my," she will often say, "You think I look hideous. I do. I cannot argue. But I couldn't find a thing to wear today that didn't make me look bloated!"
Ellen-14 is also a smart-ass.
The player characters have - strangely - taken a shine to Ellen-14 and her brood sisters. I'm not sure why. She is their 'Mr. Johnson," in Shadow-run speak. They are still very nervous about the pure methans, though. It might have something to do with the aliens engaging in thermonuclear war as a sport. But who knows.
- Ark
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Torvalds vs. the Honey Badger
![]() |
| It's thrall good. |
This is the 2e game being run by Crazy-Ass Tim, in which I am playing the sexy elf ranger lady Chartreuse. One of the party members is Torvalds - the most useless first level magic user in the history of all D&D ever. Yeah, I know - a boastful boast - but it's true - and even more so as the session unfolded.
So Torvalds rides an ox. Everywhere. Even places where oxen do not fit. But traipsing through the woods following zombies was a bit much for the ox this time around. Torvalds blew his animal handling roll - and the ox bucked him off and bolted.
The zombies were headed to destroy our town. Torvalds was about to lead us on a wild-ox chase of ridiculous proportions in the opposite direction. The ox had Torvalds' spell book - the only thing that makes him even vaguely useful.
So I shot the fucking ox.
Regretfully, the arrow didn't kill the ox. But as Torvalds became enraged about what I had done, Merwyn's character chased after the ox and hacked it to death.
That's when Torvalds attacked Mervyn's character.
As the two first level characters began to tussle, my character Chartreuse got sick of the whole thing, turned around, and raced after the zombie horde to rescue her village.
Meanwhile, Torvalds actually killed Merwyn's character - dead. Surprising, yeah. The Boy thought that such a murder was horrendous and attacked Torvalds, smashing him down below zero hit point. The Boy has a conscious, though, and only did subdual damage. He then left Torvalds face down on the forest floor and raced after me.
I was busy tackling zombies and slapping them awake. The Boy didn't think to tell me that one party member was dead and another was face down unconscious in a zombie infested forest. But the horrifying screams alerted me that something was wrong.
![]() |
| Torvalds' recess playmate. |
So we ran back to where Torvalds was and tried to fight off the honey badger. The honey badger was, of course, tough. It ripped off another one of Torvalds' legs. We continued to attack, and finally took honey badger down. But even in death, honey badger didn't give a shit and ripped off Torvalds' left arm.
We applied tourniquets, and did massive amounts of cauterization with torches, and brought Torvalds back from the brink. It really only worked because Crazy-ass Tim is a mean bastard of a DM. But we had rescued our useless magic-user. Yay!
Meanwhile, our entire village was slaughtered and burned to the ground. So, I'm thinking that Torvalds deserves his fate. Regretfully, he is even more useless than before. But Kaye continues to play him without a hitch - reveling in his one armed, no leggedness - and declaring himself the Sorcerer Supreme.
The Boy has taken to calling Torvalds the Burrito Supreme.
- Ark
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Talk, Part Two
This conversation happened a while ago, and was of monumental importance, but like so many things of monumental importance, they get swept up in the hubbub of life.
We were driving to the YMCA where The Boy has his swimming lessons twice a week. This was before daylight savings time kicked in (or out - I can never remember how that works,) so it was still light then, as opposed to now, when we drive to the Y in the dark.
"So," I said, "We've played Pathfinder several times now. How are you liking it?"
"I like it a lot," he nodded his head in an exaggerated fashion while adjusting his swimsuit. The boy was born a swimmer. He couldn't have been a few months old when his mother took him into the pool and he desperately pushed away from her - convinced in his little head that he could swim like everyone else.
"You remember we were just taking a break from 4e so we could see what Pathfinder was like - right?" I asked. I didn't want him to think we had abandoned his favorite game.
"Yeah," he watched the traffic out the window. Today was one of those once a month 'safety' days at the Y, where the class was less about swimming and more about responsibility. The boy really wasn't impressed with such days.
"I want you to know that I haven't forgotten 4e. We can start back up any time you want."
"No, that's okay," he said. The Boy has had a lot of swimming classes, working all the way up from Polliwog to Shark. Soon in his future may be the swim team, and perhaps, one day, he may become a lifeguard. It's up to him and where his love of swimming takes him.
"Huh?" I said, "Don't you want to play 4e?"
"No, that's okay. Pathfinder if funner. It's more freer like Labyrinth Lord and you're not stuck with all of those powers. It's simpler and I can do more of what I want to do," he told me.
I almost ran over a cluster of children while turning into the YMCA parking lot. "Really?" I asked, "I thought 4e was like your home, and you felt more comfortable in your home." I was trying to suppress a smile. Finally, he was over the 4e phase and we could focus on good old-fashioned D&D.
The Boy shook his head while getting out of the car and grabbing his towel. "No dad, just because a role playing game is your first one, doesn't mean it's the best or the funnest. Don't you know that?"
I collected my sketchbook and pencils from the back seat and quietly followed The Boy into the YMCA, reflecting deeply on what my son had just said.
- Ark
(FYI, the original 'The Talk' posting is here.)
We were driving to the YMCA where The Boy has his swimming lessons twice a week. This was before daylight savings time kicked in (or out - I can never remember how that works,) so it was still light then, as opposed to now, when we drive to the Y in the dark.
"So," I said, "We've played Pathfinder several times now. How are you liking it?"
"I like it a lot," he nodded his head in an exaggerated fashion while adjusting his swimsuit. The boy was born a swimmer. He couldn't have been a few months old when his mother took him into the pool and he desperately pushed away from her - convinced in his little head that he could swim like everyone else.
"You remember we were just taking a break from 4e so we could see what Pathfinder was like - right?" I asked. I didn't want him to think we had abandoned his favorite game.
"Yeah," he watched the traffic out the window. Today was one of those once a month 'safety' days at the Y, where the class was less about swimming and more about responsibility. The boy really wasn't impressed with such days.
"I want you to know that I haven't forgotten 4e. We can start back up any time you want."
"No, that's okay," he said. The Boy has had a lot of swimming classes, working all the way up from Polliwog to Shark. Soon in his future may be the swim team, and perhaps, one day, he may become a lifeguard. It's up to him and where his love of swimming takes him.
"Huh?" I said, "Don't you want to play 4e?"
"No, that's okay. Pathfinder if funner. It's more freer like Labyrinth Lord and you're not stuck with all of those powers. It's simpler and I can do more of what I want to do," he told me.
I almost ran over a cluster of children while turning into the YMCA parking lot. "Really?" I asked, "I thought 4e was like your home, and you felt more comfortable in your home." I was trying to suppress a smile. Finally, he was over the 4e phase and we could focus on good old-fashioned D&D.
The Boy shook his head while getting out of the car and grabbing his towel. "No dad, just because a role playing game is your first one, doesn't mean it's the best or the funnest. Don't you know that?"
I collected my sketchbook and pencils from the back seat and quietly followed The Boy into the YMCA, reflecting deeply on what my son had just said.
- Ark
(FYI, the original 'The Talk' posting is here.)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Candy Man
I don't care what the nay-sayers say - I love me some Savage Worlds. Kay was hankering to run a game, so we settled on Savage Worlds Supers. About two seconds into character creation, we realized that the only way we could pull a supers game off is if were were all villains.
We started off as normals, visiting an old friend in the hospital - a friend who was in a coma. Suddenly, like about zero seconds into play, our latent mutant superpowers all turned on and we were off - exploring our powers and running on a destructive rampage.
The Cast of Characters:
The Brain - That's Crazy-Ass Tim's character. He's a withered near-corpse that floats around in a hospital gown with an IV dangling from his arm. The Brain refers to his body as 'The Husk,' and communicates via telepathy. He specializes, of course, in MIND CONTROL.
The Flying Ferret - That's The Boy. He's a furry guy who can fly and turn invisible. His speciality is avoiding combat - or anything dangerous - for that matter. This is pretty much of a continuation of the recent theme of all of The Boy's characters as of late. The Boy refers to this character archetype as 'The Survivalist.'
Carl - Merwyn is playing Carl. Carl is . . . completely normal. He has no super powers. Carl once owned a comic book shop, and knows a lot about super heroes. Carl is, however, a super hipster. If there is something to do in the universe, Carl has already done it before you even thought about doing it, and will mock it - and you - as easily as breathing.
The Candy Man - This is my character. Originally, I had named him Shatter. He was a knock off of the Marvel character Bulls-eye - a dude with the ability to throw just about anything at anybody and kill them. However, the first thing Shatter picked up was a bowl of peppermints and began killing people with them. Shatter decided that killing people with candy was more fulfilling that anything else in the universe - thus THE CANDY MAN.
So, after leaving the hospital, the Flying Ferret tried to knock over a 7-11, which didn't go so well, so we decided to hit the nearest bank. The operation was crystal smooth until two members of the local doogooders guild came to stop us - the Ice Queen and Gigglewatt - or Gigawatt, I think.
Carl was busy stuffing money into bag in back - and the Flying Ferret had run away (again, his modus operandi,) so it was up to me and The Brain - two novice characters - to best two highly seasoned heroes in tight fitting lingerie.
I decided the Ice Queen was the softer target, so I send a vicious barrage of Twizzlers at her. In two rounds, I had killed her with candy, and began hurling Fun Sized Snickers Bars at Gigawatt, while The Brain mind-controlled the bank customers into attacking him as well. The Flying Ferret even joined the fun, pulling out a pistol and shooting our dear hero in the back.
Well, Gigawatt zapped The Candy Man into kingdom come, blowing him back, knocking him unconscious, and permanently reducing his intelligence score. Then he tazed the innocent civilians into unconsciousness, and blasted The Brain.
Luckily, at this point, Carl the ex-comic book store manager plowed through the front door of the bank in an armored car. He ran over Gigawatt, then back up over his skull for good measure. Then Carl and the Flying Ferret loaded up the motionless Candy Man and The Brain into the car and drove off, laughing all the way.Then there was the heated argument about how much cash one can shove into four bank bags. Kay originally said a couple thousand dollars, but we booed him loudly, and now desperate Internet research is going on.
So, our characters have made a name for themselves and have also made a pile of money. The only thing we lost was, well, half of my character's brain. Fair trade, I guess.
We are now diligently awaiting our phone call from the International Organization of Evil so we can become card carrying members.
- Ark
P.S. - I am deeply concerned that the only time that we really cooperate as players is when we are being evil bastards. Okay, well, I am not too concerned, but it does make me wonder . . . :)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Chartreuse
PureStrainHuman (aka Crazy-Ass Tim) kicked off an AD&D 2e campaign this Monday, and we had a lot of fun. I decided to dust off my Beard and Boob Badge and play a lady this time around. Well, she's not a lady - she's a task oriented elven ranger named Chartreuse. I really hoped that name didn't stray into the realm of 'stripper names.' It's one of my favorite colors - and it's sort of green - and she's an elf - and - well - it made sense at the time.
Anyway, I'll give a play report soon. This is the first real AD&D 2e game I've ever played, so I have LOTS to say about it. ;) Meanwhile, I decided to try to draw Chartreuse, and the result is below. It's a very rough sketch, but I must say, the daily practice is paying off. I can tell that it's a biped and that it's a she - so I must be on the right track.
Yeah - and she's got anime elf ears. If Deedlit ears are good enough for Daffy Duck, they are good enough for me. I hope to clean it up and ink it and all of that jazz at some point. I might even try to draw a tree or two for some ambiance. :)
Enjoy.
- Ark
Anyway, I'll give a play report soon. This is the first real AD&D 2e game I've ever played, so I have LOTS to say about it. ;) Meanwhile, I decided to try to draw Chartreuse, and the result is below. It's a very rough sketch, but I must say, the daily practice is paying off. I can tell that it's a biped and that it's a she - so I must be on the right track.
![]() |
| I drew this! Woot! Click to embiggen - but beware - she might slap you. |
Yeah - and she's got anime elf ears. If Deedlit ears are good enough for Daffy Duck, they are good enough for me. I hope to clean it up and ink it and all of that jazz at some point. I might even try to draw a tree or two for some ambiance. :)
Enjoy.
- Ark
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Rahul and the Bobble-headed Ganesh
I've just come back from role playing tonight and am still basking in the glow. The Stars Without Number game went very well. Tim, Ron, Mervyn, Kay and the boy were great as an unsuspecting band of space adventurers who had the all sorts of crap thrown at them.
Highlights of the Night:
So, the party is wanted by two major interstellar powers for multiple crimes - and it's just one game into the campiagn. That's pretty awesome.
I think it behooves a game master to end a night with a desperate attempt to jump into hyperspace or be blasted into component atoms by an angry space armada, relying on a sole Navigation skill check by one of the party members.
Tim, however, is still on the fence about what he calls the "one roll party save versus death saving throw."
I am still trying to keep a straight face.
- Ark
Highlights of the Night:
- The party realizing that they just woke up to a fight between a group of bounty hunters and a family fleeing from the clutches of the Holy Order of Sapphic Islam.
- Mervyn taking out an entire boarding party with some clever computer commands that vented the atmosphere out of a part of the spacecraft they were in.
- Tim trying to beat a bounty hunter to death from 200 meters away - telekinetically - with the bounty hunter's own pistol.
- The Boy firing a laser gun at the nefarious Bounty Hunter Tabari, only to find out that she was a phychic with expertise in both the disciplines of precognition and teleportation.
- Ron jumping the ship out of system just as the bounty hunters attached a cubic meter of plastic explosives to the hull of the freighter.
- Tim wandering off on a space station unannounced and coming back with a job offer to hijack an ore shipment on an ice world.
- The party crammed in a tiny shuttle flying from orbit to a rubble strewn glacier field. Their erratic pilot, Rahul, had upholstered the dashboard with purple shag carpeting and affixed a Bobble-headed Ganesh there to be his 'co-pilot.'
- The party convincing a convoy of Hindu ice-truckers to drive their 130 foot long tractor-treaded cargo trucks (laden with highly explosive QUANTIUM ore) on a six-hour journey up a glacier.
- During a kidnapping, Kay stopping to steal the victim's television from the apartment.
- The party trying to beat the crap out of their underworld contact Mujibar for non-payment of of services rendered (hijacking aforementioned 130 foot long cargo trucks,) only to find out that the funds had been into their accounts already. They had been expecting to be paid in gold coins, I think.
- The party pissing off their employer and Ron having to jump out of system in a spacecraft just seconds before a a space cruiser (owned by their employer) blew them to smithereens.
So, the party is wanted by two major interstellar powers for multiple crimes - and it's just one game into the campiagn. That's pretty awesome.
I think it behooves a game master to end a night with a desperate attempt to jump into hyperspace or be blasted into component atoms by an angry space armada, relying on a sole Navigation skill check by one of the party members.
Tim, however, is still on the fence about what he calls the "one roll party save versus death saving throw."
I am still trying to keep a straight face.
- Ark
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Hit Point Survey
![]() |
| Warriors Experience Table, SWN, pg 21 |
Now, in all my years, I've been under the impression that when you level, you take your Hit Die and roll - then add your new hit points (and perhaps CON mod) to your existing hit point pool. Everyone I've ever dealt with has been in agreement - it seems to be intuitive.
Stars Without Number has classes, levels, and hit points similar to D&D, but apparently, that's not the way you do it. From page 23 in Stars Without Number, under the heading Hit Points:
"Don’t worry too much if you roll a low number. As your character gains experience they will gain more hit points and the chance to reroll poor dice. Some GMs may choose to omit the initial roll entirely and simply start new characters with the maximum possible hit points."Unless I'm misreading, this seems to imply for SWN that, you reroll your hit point every level. It's an interesting concept, if it is indeed the concept here. Has anyone heard of such a thing?
- Ark
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The Metallic Mouse That Doesn't Rust
I just devoured The Stainless Steel Rat. I forgot how much I enjoyed my first reading of it, circa 1982, or how much the Stainless Steel Rat series influenced my playing of both Star Frontiers and Top Secret.
The books follow the adventures of 'Slippery Jim' DeGriz, one of the biggest thieves and con-men around. It's over 32 thousand years in the future, and most of humanity has grown up and solved problems like war, plague, famine, and crime. This has left the universe a very boring place, and for hyper-intelligent people like DeGriz, such boredom is simply unacceptable - so he stirs the pot and sows as much chaos around as possible.
He's not a 'bad' guy. Slippery Jim doesn't like hurting people - and killing people outside of self-defense is definitely not on his list of things to do. But as long as he's sure the insurance will cover it, he'll steal anything - and the more complicated, the better. His sheer outrageousness and intelligence puts him at the top of the most wanted lists, and makes him the target of the galaxy's super police, the Special Corps. who eventually employ him to catch other ne'er-do-wells, stop war-mongering planets from mongering, and fix time itself.
The Stainless Steel Rat books became a template of how I constructed just about every Top Secret and Star Frontiers campaign I even ran. 'Slippery Jim' is essentially a PC - straight out of a game - a smart ass there to amuse himself and put on a spectacle for others. The stories are essentially sandboxes with some loose 'mission' that ties everything together, but the Rat is free to wander entire planets to complete his objective - usually in whatever timeframe he feels like. One minute he's pretending to be a janitor herding robots with a whip, the next he's a billionaire on a golden space yacht.
The players fell into the pace quite easily. A grumpy 'administrator' gives the team an assignment. They get dumped off undercover far away somewhere and start snooping around. They discover the 'bad thing' is being done by some rich guy. They need funds, so they knock over a bank. They then go pretend to be millionaires (well, at that moment they 'are' millionaires) A chase ensues. The bad guy gets away. They chase him to another planet. Then they discover that the rich guy controls the mafia on that planet, so they have to join and work their way up the ranks until they have access to the guy. Etc. Great fun, and lots of role playing,combat, scheming, lying, and stealing to be had.
The formula worked for both Top Secret and Star Frontiers. On the surface it may seem very James Bond-ish, but there is a certain air about The Stainless Steel Rat. It's . . . well . .. it's chaos. Much like the Honey Badger, 'Slippery Jim' DiGriz don't give a shit. He does what he does for fun - not for duty, honor, or what is best for society. That's really what makes it. There is nothing to 'convice' the PCs to do. They are given a job, and they figure out the most fun way to accomplish it - preferentially with lots of explosions and loose cash.
And, strangely, the books allow for a great way that relative npcs can be useful and fun. See the novels for details. :)
I'm already chewing through the second book in the series - The Stainless Steel Rat's Revenge - grinning away. I've also got Retief of the CDT next to me as well - speaking of great books to turn into adventures. It's giving me a big itch to run some Ratty Sci-Fi games, big time. And over on the table is Stars Without Number. Geez. Gamer ADD, take me away!
- Ark
The books follow the adventures of 'Slippery Jim' DeGriz, one of the biggest thieves and con-men around. It's over 32 thousand years in the future, and most of humanity has grown up and solved problems like war, plague, famine, and crime. This has left the universe a very boring place, and for hyper-intelligent people like DeGriz, such boredom is simply unacceptable - so he stirs the pot and sows as much chaos around as possible.
He's not a 'bad' guy. Slippery Jim doesn't like hurting people - and killing people outside of self-defense is definitely not on his list of things to do. But as long as he's sure the insurance will cover it, he'll steal anything - and the more complicated, the better. His sheer outrageousness and intelligence puts him at the top of the most wanted lists, and makes him the target of the galaxy's super police, the Special Corps. who eventually employ him to catch other ne'er-do-wells, stop war-mongering planets from mongering, and fix time itself.
The Stainless Steel Rat books became a template of how I constructed just about every Top Secret and Star Frontiers campaign I even ran. 'Slippery Jim' is essentially a PC - straight out of a game - a smart ass there to amuse himself and put on a spectacle for others. The stories are essentially sandboxes with some loose 'mission' that ties everything together, but the Rat is free to wander entire planets to complete his objective - usually in whatever timeframe he feels like. One minute he's pretending to be a janitor herding robots with a whip, the next he's a billionaire on a golden space yacht.
The players fell into the pace quite easily. A grumpy 'administrator' gives the team an assignment. They get dumped off undercover far away somewhere and start snooping around. They discover the 'bad thing' is being done by some rich guy. They need funds, so they knock over a bank. They then go pretend to be millionaires (well, at that moment they 'are' millionaires) A chase ensues. The bad guy gets away. They chase him to another planet. Then they discover that the rich guy controls the mafia on that planet, so they have to join and work their way up the ranks until they have access to the guy. Etc. Great fun, and lots of role playing,combat, scheming, lying, and stealing to be had.
The formula worked for both Top Secret and Star Frontiers. On the surface it may seem very James Bond-ish, but there is a certain air about The Stainless Steel Rat. It's . . . well . .. it's chaos. Much like the Honey Badger, 'Slippery Jim' DiGriz don't give a shit. He does what he does for fun - not for duty, honor, or what is best for society. That's really what makes it. There is nothing to 'convice' the PCs to do. They are given a job, and they figure out the most fun way to accomplish it - preferentially with lots of explosions and loose cash.
And, strangely, the books allow for a great way that relative npcs can be useful and fun. See the novels for details. :)
I'm already chewing through the second book in the series - The Stainless Steel Rat's Revenge - grinning away. I've also got Retief of the CDT next to me as well - speaking of great books to turn into adventures. It's giving me a big itch to run some Ratty Sci-Fi games, big time. And over on the table is Stars Without Number. Geez. Gamer ADD, take me away!
- Ark
Monday, October 10, 2011
Hexmogrifying Google Earth
This is my 200th post and my 42nd birthday all rolled into one, so I thought I'd do something special.
I've been a fan of Alexis' world hex mapping project for a while - even back before I had heard of the OSR Blogosphere. I love maps, and putting one into hex form immediately screams 'adventure' to me.
I wanted to try out hexing the real world myself, and though Texas would be a great place to start. I love the geography of my home state. You've got deserts and swamps and mountains and hills and nice and comfy broadleaf forests and painfully tall swaths of pine and islands and plains and marshes and canyons and playa lakes and - geez - lots of wonderful, different places that confuse the hell out of some foreign types who land at Austin and are surprised they don't see cacti and cowboys.
So, I sat down to do it. Several times. What a frikkin pain in the ass! The world is not designed to be mapped out in hex - just like it's not designed to be mapped out on a flat piece of paper either. Finding maps, lining everything up, trying to keep the boundaries of each hex happy with every other - geez. It's definitely a labor of love.
Being a programmer, I have a habit of noticing repetitive tasks. If I have to do something more than three times, I have a great urge to automate it so I don't ever have to do it again. Let's call it Engineer's ADHD. I've made a career of being assigned a job, getting bored with it, automating it, finding something else that is repetitive and boring and automating that too, until everything at the company anyone could possibly ask me to do is automated and I can finally have a nice nap. Efficiency and laziness are just different sides of the same coin.
The task of hexing the world lends itself to automation, so I started thinking about how to do it. How could you standardly assign hexes to regions? Latitude and Longitude, while wonderful for navigating the Seven Seas, is horrible for the human brain. The hashmarks they form on the globe do not make squares of equal area - or squares at all, for that matter, so utilizing them out of the box to hang a hex map on was out of the question. I had to break out the big guns. I had to break out geometry and calculus.
I've carried around math books with various bizarre formula in them most of my life. I'm not a fan of math. Actually, I hate it. That's why I love programming. All I have to do is understand it - once - and tell the computer to do it. POOF. I never have to do it again. Yeah, horrible and lazy, I know - but that's me.
This math challenge was beyond my dusty books, so I did some internet research. Math geeks are wonderful. They make some awesome web pages. The page that helped me out most was this one here - with the jaunty title of 'Calculate distance, bearing and more between Latitude/Longitude points.' That gave me all the math I needed to be able to mathematically calculate the vertices of any sized hex and translate them into latitude and longitude coordinates. With that data, I was set.
Then I was off to Google Earth. I love that program, and have gotten lost in far away countries through it more often than I'd like to admit. Our good friends at Google also offer lots of ways to manipulate Google Earth, from advanced APIs, to the simplicity of the KML file. Simplicity is what I was after.
The KML file is kind of like an HTML file, buy for maps. While you can do all kinds of things with it - like draw embed 3d building into Google Earth, I just wanted to use it to draw lines. With the latitude and longitude points generated with my ill-gotten formulae, I could draw hexes! Woot!
See this little bit of the Texas coast for yourself - with 6 mile hexes:
Right now, the KML hex file creation system is manual in the fact that I have to seed it with an area and do a lot of copy-pasting within the KML file itself. But with a bit of time, I could have a system that could overlay whatever area you want with whatever size hexes you needed. Of course, the curvature of the earth still makes things wonky at large scales (I, um, think - maybe,) but since the hex 'grid' is tied to latitude and longitude - hexing out out anything near the poles - even Antarctica, would not be a problem.
I could even add a system of graphic overlays with KML for each hex to show - oh - the post-apocalyptic differences between present day and the 'future' - turned on and off an the click of a mouse button. The possibilities with Google Earth are nigh-limitless. I sure as heck don't have a long enough lifespan to do all the things I can think about doing with it right now.
Of course, I much prefer the look of hand crafted hex maps, like those over at the Tao of D&D. But I am a lazy-ass, ADHD prone software engineer, so looks like Texas won't be all pretty, but it sure as hell will have some hexes drawn on top of it. :)
Happy hexing!
- Ark
I've been a fan of Alexis' world hex mapping project for a while - even back before I had heard of the OSR Blogosphere. I love maps, and putting one into hex form immediately screams 'adventure' to me.
I wanted to try out hexing the real world myself, and though Texas would be a great place to start. I love the geography of my home state. You've got deserts and swamps and mountains and hills and nice and comfy broadleaf forests and painfully tall swaths of pine and islands and plains and marshes and canyons and playa lakes and - geez - lots of wonderful, different places that confuse the hell out of some foreign types who land at Austin and are surprised they don't see cacti and cowboys.
So, I sat down to do it. Several times. What a frikkin pain in the ass! The world is not designed to be mapped out in hex - just like it's not designed to be mapped out on a flat piece of paper either. Finding maps, lining everything up, trying to keep the boundaries of each hex happy with every other - geez. It's definitely a labor of love.
Being a programmer, I have a habit of noticing repetitive tasks. If I have to do something more than three times, I have a great urge to automate it so I don't ever have to do it again. Let's call it Engineer's ADHD. I've made a career of being assigned a job, getting bored with it, automating it, finding something else that is repetitive and boring and automating that too, until everything at the company anyone could possibly ask me to do is automated and I can finally have a nice nap. Efficiency and laziness are just different sides of the same coin.
The task of hexing the world lends itself to automation, so I started thinking about how to do it. How could you standardly assign hexes to regions? Latitude and Longitude, while wonderful for navigating the Seven Seas, is horrible for the human brain. The hashmarks they form on the globe do not make squares of equal area - or squares at all, for that matter, so utilizing them out of the box to hang a hex map on was out of the question. I had to break out the big guns. I had to break out geometry and calculus.
I've carried around math books with various bizarre formula in them most of my life. I'm not a fan of math. Actually, I hate it. That's why I love programming. All I have to do is understand it - once - and tell the computer to do it. POOF. I never have to do it again. Yeah, horrible and lazy, I know - but that's me.
This math challenge was beyond my dusty books, so I did some internet research. Math geeks are wonderful. They make some awesome web pages. The page that helped me out most was this one here - with the jaunty title of 'Calculate distance, bearing and more between Latitude/Longitude points.' That gave me all the math I needed to be able to mathematically calculate the vertices of any sized hex and translate them into latitude and longitude coordinates. With that data, I was set.
Then I was off to Google Earth. I love that program, and have gotten lost in far away countries through it more often than I'd like to admit. Our good friends at Google also offer lots of ways to manipulate Google Earth, from advanced APIs, to the simplicity of the KML file. Simplicity is what I was after.
The KML file is kind of like an HTML file, buy for maps. While you can do all kinds of things with it - like draw embed 3d building into Google Earth, I just wanted to use it to draw lines. With the latitude and longitude points generated with my ill-gotten formulae, I could draw hexes! Woot!
See this little bit of the Texas coast for yourself - with 6 mile hexes:
Right now, the KML hex file creation system is manual in the fact that I have to seed it with an area and do a lot of copy-pasting within the KML file itself. But with a bit of time, I could have a system that could overlay whatever area you want with whatever size hexes you needed. Of course, the curvature of the earth still makes things wonky at large scales (I, um, think - maybe,) but since the hex 'grid' is tied to latitude and longitude - hexing out out anything near the poles - even Antarctica, would not be a problem.
I could even add a system of graphic overlays with KML for each hex to show - oh - the post-apocalyptic differences between present day and the 'future' - turned on and off an the click of a mouse button. The possibilities with Google Earth are nigh-limitless. I sure as heck don't have a long enough lifespan to do all the things I can think about doing with it right now.
Of course, I much prefer the look of hand crafted hex maps, like those over at the Tao of D&D. But I am a lazy-ass, ADHD prone software engineer, so looks like Texas won't be all pretty, but it sure as hell will have some hexes drawn on top of it. :)
Happy hexing!
- Ark
Friday, October 7, 2011
Death by Slow Monty Python Skit
![]() |
| I actually drew this one! |
We started the game doing some sort of Battle Royale in another dimension. This is basically what I used to call Mock Combat, done before an adventure so players could get a feel for a new game or new abilities gained by their characters. The winner of the battle would get a 'Get Out of Hell Free Card.'
KAMB has an interesting mechanic. To do something, you roll a wad of d6's. The more difficult the thing, the more dice you roll, and you are trying to get a value equal to, or below, your target number, which is usually your attribute value. Pretty simple to do. I mean, to figure out what to roll. Not so simple to actually succeed. And if you fail to succeed, you have to go and roll for some potential death via the Kobold Horrible Death Chart.
Interestingly, my character Schmeky Encephalitis won the combat. This was only because everyone else failed so badly at attempts to hurt each other that they all died in surprising and horrible ways on the Kobold Horrible Death Chart.
So, back to 'reality' for the little kobolds. Schmeky got a dead rat and a bottle of beer and a huge shield for equipment. The shield took two hands to use, and Schmeky didn't have any pockets, so he ate his dead rat, drank his beer, grabbed his shield, and was ready to go purloin a human baby from the village. The other kobolds got things of equal worthlessness, except Lex - who got a magic spell book.
So, we approached the human village. The Boy, playing 'Roast Beef Sandwich' the kobold, saw some teenagers and started yelling at them. He was very proud that he knew 8 human words, and wanted to show off. I felt this was a bad plan, so before Roast Beef could say much of anything, I tossed him in the river. You know, to shut him up.
That's when the ravenous 'Acti-Fish' attacked. They were environmentally aware fish that were very angry about the pollution levels in the river. Yeah . . . It went all downhill from there.
So, in the ensuing combat with the fish, the teenagers, a vigilante chicken, a tavern owner, and a Slushy machine - everyone except Schmeky died. No one was actually killed by anything . . . per se. All death were directly attributable to the Kobold Horrible Death Chart.
So Schemky was fighting a dog. He failed to hit, and so had to roll vs. the evil death chart - but didn't die. I was quite happy, eager to see Schemy live through an entire game.
After I made an amazingly low roll, Mervin smiled and said 'Wow, he's not dead yet."
I piped up in a squeaky, high pitched English accent, "I'm not de . . ."
Crap. I bit my tongue and looked around the table with shifty eyes, trying to see if anyone noticed.
PureStrainHuman pointed a finger at me. BUSTED!
I can't help it! Like Pavlov's dogs, I have been trained over the last 40 years to quote lines of Monty Python skits any chance I get. I can't help it! It's genetic - woven deeply into the strands of my DNA for godsake!
I rolled. Schmeky died. Schmeky died by slow Monty Python Skit. A black knight hopped out of a bush carrying a death bunny and spanked Schmeky to death. It wasn't even a cute virgin girl spanking either.
SIGH! Well, we had to wrap it up there. It was a blast - even if Schemky had to be sacrificed.
But last night, just as I finished coloring the image above, The Boy wandered out of his bedroom - where he was supposed to be asleep.
"What?" I grumbled at him.
"You know Dad, I was thinking."
"You shouldn't be thinking. You should be sleeping."
He was unfazed by the comment he's heard a billion times before. "Well Dad, you know Schmeky?"
I nodded. "Uh-huh."
"Well . . . he's alive! You have a Get Out Of Hell Free card! Remember?"
Oh crap! I did! OMG. I'M NOT DEAD YET! I DON'T WANT TO GO UP ON THE CART!
MOO-HAA-HAA! SUCK IT UP! THIS IS NOT THE LAST OF SCHMEKY!
- Ark
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Behold the Druid! Beware His Powers! Unspeakable Powers!
So continuing from this post, the Labyrinth Lord gang was in a forest, armed to the teeth, standing around a magical hole on a slab of granite on the ground - a hole that lead to another magical hole 60 feet up the side of a tower half a mile away, overlooking the central courtyard of the town of Barton Hill. It was near dusk, and they could see 30 orcs standing in formation outside of the local Church of the Lawgiver.
Yeah, if that hurt your head, you should probably go read the first post. You probably missed the whole part about the Aperture Science Portal Wands and big green dragon. :)
Anyway, one player began pitching Molotov cocktails at random roofs. Another tossed an oil flask at the orc who looked like the leader. Other players unleashed volleys of arrows into the startled orc platoon.
The orcs were freaking out in the town square. To the side of the square was the church. Now the church had had its front face ripped off, but was at such an angle that the player's couldn't see inside, yet there was a suspicion that the green dragon that they had seen landing in the town was inside.
One of the characters that The Boy is playing is Beagle the 2nd level Halfling Druid. Okay, yeah, I am being a little lax on class restrictions - but druid halflings make perfect sense to me. It probably stretches back to my affinity for Yondalla and the belief that all halflings would worship the Goddess of Nookie.
So Beagle drops an Entangle spell down in the courtyard, making sure that it covers the entrance of the church, and the the area of effect goes deep inside the battered holy structure.
Go grab your AEC and look up Entangle. Page 43. I'll wait.
Okay, I won't wait. Go compare it with the Entangle spell in the 1st Edition Player's Handbook. I'll wait.
Again, I tricked you. I won't wait. This LL first level druid spell has a range of 80' and 40' diameter of effect - a factor of ten greater than the original spell. I kind of think a typo might have occurred here - but I'm really not a fan of nerfing things mid-flight . . . so . . .
A 40 foot diameter. I can't believe it. That's enough to entangle . . . a dragon.
That was just where the frikkin dragon was sleeping too. He was supposed to get up, look around, see the PCs and go bleach their skins until they had no more skins. This was to be my revenge for all those horrible, horrible things the players have done to me over the years.
But still . . my pretty little lizard had a saving throw.
Crap.
Double dog crap.
FAILED.
As Charlie Brown says when Lucy pulls the football at the last moment . . . AAAUUUGHHH!
So the dragon wakes up and finds himself entangled. He's already nervous. His sister was killed by a bunch of yahoos only a week ago, not twelve miles away. He's agitated, cranky, and ready to kill something. His opponent must be close by, so he lets loose with his breath weapon.
Clearly, the dragon was operating off his remembrances of reading Gary Gygax's version of the spell, not Dan Proctor's.
And, yeah, the big cloud of chlorine gas fills up the courtyard and kills his orc bodyguards. Bodyguards. There to protect him. Him. A dragon.
It really just gets worse from here, but I'll leave that to another day.
;)
- Ark
Yeah, if that hurt your head, you should probably go read the first post. You probably missed the whole part about the Aperture Science Portal Wands and big green dragon. :)
Anyway, one player began pitching Molotov cocktails at random roofs. Another tossed an oil flask at the orc who looked like the leader. Other players unleashed volleys of arrows into the startled orc platoon.
The orcs were freaking out in the town square. To the side of the square was the church. Now the church had had its front face ripped off, but was at such an angle that the player's couldn't see inside, yet there was a suspicion that the green dragon that they had seen landing in the town was inside.
One of the characters that The Boy is playing is Beagle the 2nd level Halfling Druid. Okay, yeah, I am being a little lax on class restrictions - but druid halflings make perfect sense to me. It probably stretches back to my affinity for Yondalla and the belief that all halflings would worship the Goddess of Nookie.
So Beagle drops an Entangle spell down in the courtyard, making sure that it covers the entrance of the church, and the the area of effect goes deep inside the battered holy structure.
Go grab your AEC and look up Entangle. Page 43. I'll wait.
Okay, I won't wait. Go compare it with the Entangle spell in the 1st Edition Player's Handbook. I'll wait.
Again, I tricked you. I won't wait. This LL first level druid spell has a range of 80' and 40' diameter of effect - a factor of ten greater than the original spell. I kind of think a typo might have occurred here - but I'm really not a fan of nerfing things mid-flight . . . so . . .
A 40 foot diameter. I can't believe it. That's enough to entangle . . . a dragon.
That was just where the frikkin dragon was sleeping too. He was supposed to get up, look around, see the PCs and go bleach their skins until they had no more skins. This was to be my revenge for all those horrible, horrible things the players have done to me over the years.
But still . . my pretty little lizard had a saving throw.
Crap.
Double dog crap.
FAILED.
As Charlie Brown says when Lucy pulls the football at the last moment . . . AAAUUUGHHH!
So the dragon wakes up and finds himself entangled. He's already nervous. His sister was killed by a bunch of yahoos only a week ago, not twelve miles away. He's agitated, cranky, and ready to kill something. His opponent must be close by, so he lets loose with his breath weapon.
Clearly, the dragon was operating off his remembrances of reading Gary Gygax's version of the spell, not Dan Proctor's.
And, yeah, the big cloud of chlorine gas fills up the courtyard and kills his orc bodyguards. Bodyguards. There to protect him. Him. A dragon.
It really just gets worse from here, but I'll leave that to another day.
;)
- Ark
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)


























