My son and I trucked on over to our friendly local game
store Saturday morning and played some 4e in Living Forgotten Realms. We had a blast. He plays a seven foot fighter named Regdar
and I play and annoying little halfling Ardent named Chicory Chives who taunts
monsters during combat. Or outside of
combat. Or wherever. Our favorite tactic is for Chicory to use a
power that triggers Regdar to attack. So
Regdar can attack all day long while Chicory basically just shoves Regdar back
into the fray over and over again.
Yeah, I bitch about 4e and it sucks on so many
levels. But anything my kid and I can do
together and have fun with is worth a billion dollars in my book. And my son gets to interact with guys (and girls) from his age, all the way up into their gray years. The average is probably 17-20 or so.
So during the game, I go up to the counter to grab me a
drink. (They have a coke machine in
back, but the Coke Zero is all in a little mini fridge back behind the register.) One of the game store employees is having a
serious faced discussion with one of our game organizer, who is somewhere
around my age. The employee was saying
something to the effect of:
". . . and the hygiene. I know it's embarrassing to mention to them, but
some of these kids need to take a bath.
The smell is offending other customers."
The organizer nodded politely and said that he’d mention
it.
" . . . and the language. It can get disrespectful. They shouldn't be saying anything here that
they wouldn't say in front of family members."
The organizer nodded politely and said that he'd handle
it.
" . . . but worst of all is the mooning."
The employee had a very serious look on his face. The organizer cocked his head. I cocked my head too.
" . . . not once, but several times has a customer
walked in through that door and been greeted by the tops of two cheeks and an
ass crack. The kids are standing there
with their pants almost on the ground and their backs turned to the door. I can't have customers seeing that the first
thing they walk in through the door.
This is a business."
I'm about to die.
Really. Just crawl on the floor
and laugh until I die.
I calmed down a tad.
"Suspenders," I piped in after a second. "We could hand out suspenders. They hold up pants with a lot less wardrobe
malfunctions."
I don't think they appreciated my input. I almost mentioned to them that when I was my son's age, I was running around in rainbow suspenders with Mork from Ork buttons pinned to them. It's probably a fact that I shouldn't tell anyone at all though.
- Ark







