Yeah yeah yeah, show me a parade float and I'll jump on it.
I'd like to present the Beard and Boob Badge, for those DMs who like to play an opposite sex NPC a little bit longer than anyone else at the table is comfortable with.
I guess that's all the badges that fit. Yay me!
- Ark
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Educating The Boy
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| Actual photo of The Boy. |
My response to a similar school experience led me to become a silent wallflower. For the Boy, such a compromise was never really on the table. As those of you have met him know - you know - the Boy is THE BOY, in all caps, the guy who puts a big smile on your face, causes you to laugh to the point of tears during an rpg session, can drive a teacher insane, and has the ability to attract every bully within a ten mile radius that is crusin' to destroy the different and special.
Near the end of the year, enough was enough, and we pulled him out of school and spend some quiet, calm time home schooling and emotionally recovering.
Today was the first day back to school - but this time, no brick and mortar school, and no home schooling. He's attending an online school. Enrolling was a bit of a hurdle, but when that was completed, they sent us books, school supplies, and a computer. Pretty nifty set up - especially since it's a public school so all of that was free (well, we gotta send them back.) It's kind of like home schooling, but with the heavy lifting done by the state.
After this first day he was absolutely ecstatic. He gets to interact with teachers on the phone and on the web in a variety of ways. The kids even get to chat with one another before classes - which are flexible time-wise. And one of the things he seemed most excited about - he doesn't have to stick with the rest of the pack - he can go do lessons ahead of time. He's already two lessons ahead on the first day, and we can see his progress right there, live and online as he chugs along.
I'm so happy he's liking it so far. I'll be doing some supplemental education in the evenings. Since we are learning to create Pathfinder characters, he'll need to learn algebra and pre-calculus.
HA! That was a joke. Sort of. ;)
Things are looking up.
- Ark
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Bloodspurt
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| image by Nathan M. Rosario |
My character is, well, just check him out -
Name: Bloodspurt
Race: Half-orc
Class: Paladin
Alignment: Lawful Good
STR: 15
DEX: 13
CON: 14
INT: 8
WIS: 16
CHR: 19
I am seriously considering making him blond with an appearance identical to Fabio. I don't think I am going to be able to stop laughing throughout the entire campaign. Dear god I'm going to be annoying. The other players are going to kill me while I'm sleeping.
- Ark
Friday, August 19, 2011
The Six Million Dollar GM: Faster, Stronger, Now With More Funions
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| Honestly, I don't remember it being so PINK. |
Everything important that I've learned about running a role playing game I discovered in the first few years of playing. The remaining decades are just filled with me having to relearn these basic tenants because I've read gaming advice that sounds good, but ultimately falls short.
Now when I say YOU in the points below, I mean ME. I'm talking to myself here, and the games that I play. What works for other people is different that what works for me. You probably shouldn't even be reading this because it will screw up your game.
1. Stop fucking planning.
Really dude, just stop it. Being prepared is one thing, but sitting around, imagining what the players are going to do and coming up with some sort of tree branch decision matrix outcome generation system is futile. It's not going to be exciting.
Let the players do whatever the hell they want and react to it on the fly. Build the world each step of the way as the players put their foot down on that particular patch of grass. Sure, sketch out a map, imagine some dungeon ideas, flesh out an npc - but never expect that the players will go to those lands, explore those dungeons, or meet those characters. The players can't screw up your plans if you don't have any, and it's kind of rude to expect the very free-thinking players that you want to be playing with to hop aboard your choo-choo train of railroadiness, no matter how grand it might play out in your head.
The best 'planning' for a game is to read lots of adventure fiction, ancient history books, geology texts, and Shakespeare. Go watch Mythbusters and play with LEGOs. Devour information and play games. Feed your mind the building blocks of world making so you can have the tools to build on the fly.
2. Don't you dare open that rulebook.
Looking up monsters stat, equipment lists, or random tables is okay. But don't waste anyone's time digging for rules DURING A GAME. If you can't remember it - it was obviously too complicated anyway.
Recently, one of my newer players had a character in the water, fighting a sewer kraken in 4e. I told him that he was at a negative two to hit.
"Is that in addition to the underwater combat modifications listed in the rules?"
I chuckled. "I don't remember what the 4e rules for underwater combat are, and I don't care. You are at a negative 2. Go."
He looked like I was speaking Martian to him, but he continued. Later he joined my Labyrinth Lord game as well, so evidently the way I was running things wasn't too repulsive to him.
3. Leave the damn dice alone.
If you roll the dice, accept the result. You asked the universe a question. The universe gave you an answer. Deal or don't roll the dice in the first place. The universe typically makes better decisions that you anyway, since, you know, it can't be WRONG, so you might as well go with it. And it works because I never feel guilty about cheating or short-changing the players from the full 'gaming experience.' :)
So, there you have it, ckutalik, my recipe for LEET G4MERZ SKILLZ You are now 'it.'
:)
- Ark
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Dungeonspiration: Cenote
A few years ago we took a vacation to Cancún. I desperately wanted to go inland to visit the ruins of Chichen Itza. No one wanted to go with me, so I hoofed it inland through the jungle. Okay, not really. I took an air-conditioned tour bus and sat next to a cute girl from San Diego while being served mass quantities of cerveza. Ah, the life of an explorer.
On the way, we stopped off at a cenote for an hour to 'take the waters.' Technically, I knew what a cenote was, but when I finally saw one . . . well . . . wow.
The Ik Kil Cenote is over 80 feet deep. Roots from the forest above dangled down into the crystal clear water below. Birds and bats flew all around as multiple streams of water formed a myriad of small waterfalls.
While the Yucatán is a jungle, technically, it doesn't really rain a whole heck of a lot. Its hot and dry. There are no rivers or lakes to speak of. This is due to the extreme karst topography of the region. The limestone creates this porous land, but what seals the deal is that 65 million years ago, a big ass rock fell out of the sky and shattered the hell out of the subsurface strata. Oh, and that rock probably killed all of the dinosaurs off too, but that is another story.
So when it does rain, the water goes down, down, down into the ground, ground, ground. There vast networks of underground rivers in the region. Sometimes, the rivers find soft enough limestone to erode holes to the surface - and those holes to the surface are the cenote.
Without palatable surface water, the Mayan people built their villages and cities around cenote. Some of the sink holes had water closer to the surface, but some were much harder to get to. The Mayans would use ropes or build stairs for access.
Think about that for a second. A whole group of people having to cluster around holes in the ground for water, and having to descend into those holes to get the water. On a daily basis. And who knows where the holes led to? And who knows what dangers lurked down there.
I'll tell you. Kobolds. Orcs. Dragons. Gelatanous Cubes and Green Slimes.
I think you'd be hard pressed for a better place to run a cavern based mega-dungeon than in the cenote-filled Yucatán peninsula - or a fantasy facsimile thereof.
So go Google cenote, get your graph paper out, and start planning some mischief. :)
- Ark
Blogger Makes You Stupid
Yesterday I wrote a post entitled '4e Makes You Stupid.' Rather than try to address all of the comments one at a time, I'll do it here.
I have no interest in insulting people or making them feel bad. That last post did just that. It's a half-baked rant that belongs in the car when driving to Taco Bell for 2am burritos. I didn't think of how it could be interpreted by a wider audience. It is a raw emotional response to real life events and needed some editorial review.
The core of the arguement - that RPGs can cause players and GMs to stick with problems and solutions that are easily presentable within the rules structure of the system is, I think, quite valid. Thinking outside of systems is something I'm very interested in. However, it's wrapped in a rant that makes some people feel as if I am attacking them.
If you are some psychopath running around killing or hurting people, then yes, I do want you to feel bad. But if you are playing an RPG? Sheesh. No - that's cool. Really cool. Play and enjoy.
I will continue to rant about whatever gaming system has pissed me off at the moment. But note - I'm bitching about words on paper. My intention is not to belittle the actual players themselves. Or the game designers. Both my son and I play 4e. There is a lot I like about it. There is a lot that frustrates me. I have handed WOTC more money that I can comfortably admit.
Some have suggested changing the title of that last post to something less incendiary, or just deleting the post. I'm not convinced. I'm thinking it should stay to remind me not to do that again.
And no, I didn't come up with the title to get hits. It's just the first thing that came to mind. I have a wonderful base of readers already, and I would much prefer people coming to this blog for positive, life affirming reasons than to jump into a fist fight. I'll try harder next time.
Thanks for reading.
- Ark
PS - I don't really think that Blogger makes you stupid either. It just helps to expose it. An that 'you' right there in the title is 'me,' not you.
I have no interest in insulting people or making them feel bad. That last post did just that. It's a half-baked rant that belongs in the car when driving to Taco Bell for 2am burritos. I didn't think of how it could be interpreted by a wider audience. It is a raw emotional response to real life events and needed some editorial review.
The core of the arguement - that RPGs can cause players and GMs to stick with problems and solutions that are easily presentable within the rules structure of the system is, I think, quite valid. Thinking outside of systems is something I'm very interested in. However, it's wrapped in a rant that makes some people feel as if I am attacking them.
If you are some psychopath running around killing or hurting people, then yes, I do want you to feel bad. But if you are playing an RPG? Sheesh. No - that's cool. Really cool. Play and enjoy.
I will continue to rant about whatever gaming system has pissed me off at the moment. But note - I'm bitching about words on paper. My intention is not to belittle the actual players themselves. Or the game designers. Both my son and I play 4e. There is a lot I like about it. There is a lot that frustrates me. I have handed WOTC more money that I can comfortably admit.
Some have suggested changing the title of that last post to something less incendiary, or just deleting the post. I'm not convinced. I'm thinking it should stay to remind me not to do that again.
And no, I didn't come up with the title to get hits. It's just the first thing that came to mind. I have a wonderful base of readers already, and I would much prefer people coming to this blog for positive, life affirming reasons than to jump into a fist fight. I'll try harder next time.
Thanks for reading.
- Ark
PS - I don't really think that Blogger makes you stupid either. It just helps to expose it. An that 'you' right there in the title is 'me,' not you.
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