Just uttered by The Boy - "Since the Cowboys ain't playing, I don't give a crap."
- Ark
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Resurrection as a Commodity
I've been digging through Labyrinth Lord with the idea of creating a world - not based on real historical societies - but on the mechanics of D&D. Fighters are billy bad-asses, and high level magic-users are just frighteningly powerful with that wish spell of theirs. It's probably even hard to imagine our world if you were from a fantasy universe. But the clerics have some world-shaking skills of their own.
From first to eighth level, clerics gain the ability to cure disease, neutralize poison, and heal massive tissue damage. Starting at ninth level, they begin to gain the ability to erase any affliction known, including death. Sure, a magic-user can reincarnate you into a baboon or a unicorn, but the humble priestess can resurrect you exactly like you were, even if all that remains is a toenail clipping. In fact, it's easier to bring someone back from the dead than to regrow a toe.
Death is only a speed-bump. What does that do to a society? Being not-dead has got to be a hugely desired product - more popular that even smart phones. We have a problem here on Earth with not enough health care providers or the infrastructure to support it.
Loved ones will rush to the temple with their freshly decapitated loved ones - only to stand in line that would probably reach around the block multiple times. Vendors would hawk their wares, selling roasted turkey legs and ale to bereaved - if hopeful - relatives of the deceased. But there would come a point when some people would just have to be turned away. There wouldn't be enough clerics to handle the load of bringing to life everyone that someone didn't want to die. Resurrection refusal would lead to riots - and more dead people to resurrect.
Of course, the priest would have to charge for their services in order to meet costs and to find an economic balance. Even the best of intentioned clerics would be tempted to charge exorbitant amounts of money for resurrections - since they could only do a very small amount per month compared to the actual amount of people who die. Royalty, merchants, and successful adventurers would have much better access to the priests, of course.
Perhaps some temples would institute a raffle for some of the resurrections they would do to try to be fair. Others might only resurrect those they deemed worthy - but eventually they might have to determine worthiness by forms filled in triplicate and authorized by local bureaucrats.
Of course, all this might be simplified by the god or goddess of the religion directly authorizing healing or resurrection or particular people - direct divine administrative guidance. I can see a god getting pretty bored with that job, however, and parceling it out to avatars or angels instead - who would probably give it right back to the priests. The entire system may eventually devolve into a series of bingo games.
If a PC cleric reaches ninth level, it's in their own best interest to not let anyone know - ever. Our mighty adventuring priestess is supposed to be building a stronghold - a keep - at this point - not be working the night shift at Our Lady of Perpetual Life Hospital downtown on Washington and 10th Street as an intern. A ninth level priest is supposed to have on average, 150 soldiers suddenly appear - and I think I know why now.
It's the health care plan.
What this all boils down to in lower level game terms is that when the PCs come out of the the dungeon carrying their dead companion, there probably won't be some hermit priest on the side of the road ready to resurrect them. If that ninth level hermit priest was loitering in the ditch - a city would suddenly spring up around him overnight.
- Ark
From first to eighth level, clerics gain the ability to cure disease, neutralize poison, and heal massive tissue damage. Starting at ninth level, they begin to gain the ability to erase any affliction known, including death. Sure, a magic-user can reincarnate you into a baboon or a unicorn, but the humble priestess can resurrect you exactly like you were, even if all that remains is a toenail clipping. In fact, it's easier to bring someone back from the dead than to regrow a toe.
Death is only a speed-bump. What does that do to a society? Being not-dead has got to be a hugely desired product - more popular that even smart phones. We have a problem here on Earth with not enough health care providers or the infrastructure to support it.
Loved ones will rush to the temple with their freshly decapitated loved ones - only to stand in line that would probably reach around the block multiple times. Vendors would hawk their wares, selling roasted turkey legs and ale to bereaved - if hopeful - relatives of the deceased. But there would come a point when some people would just have to be turned away. There wouldn't be enough clerics to handle the load of bringing to life everyone that someone didn't want to die. Resurrection refusal would lead to riots - and more dead people to resurrect.
Of course, the priest would have to charge for their services in order to meet costs and to find an economic balance. Even the best of intentioned clerics would be tempted to charge exorbitant amounts of money for resurrections - since they could only do a very small amount per month compared to the actual amount of people who die. Royalty, merchants, and successful adventurers would have much better access to the priests, of course.
Perhaps some temples would institute a raffle for some of the resurrections they would do to try to be fair. Others might only resurrect those they deemed worthy - but eventually they might have to determine worthiness by forms filled in triplicate and authorized by local bureaucrats.
Of course, all this might be simplified by the god or goddess of the religion directly authorizing healing or resurrection or particular people - direct divine administrative guidance. I can see a god getting pretty bored with that job, however, and parceling it out to avatars or angels instead - who would probably give it right back to the priests. The entire system may eventually devolve into a series of bingo games.
If a PC cleric reaches ninth level, it's in their own best interest to not let anyone know - ever. Our mighty adventuring priestess is supposed to be building a stronghold - a keep - at this point - not be working the night shift at Our Lady of Perpetual Life Hospital downtown on Washington and 10th Street as an intern. A ninth level priest is supposed to have on average, 150 soldiers suddenly appear - and I think I know why now.
It's the health care plan.
What this all boils down to in lower level game terms is that when the PCs come out of the the dungeon carrying their dead companion, there probably won't be some hermit priest on the side of the road ready to resurrect them. If that ninth level hermit priest was loitering in the ditch - a city would suddenly spring up around him overnight.
- Ark
Darmok and Jalad
When I'm creating a campaign world, there are many random, haphazard ways I begin. The world that I am working on now popped into my head while reading Labyrinth Lord. Half-baked bits and pieces swirled together until I could see clearly enough to identify a theme. To hell with a world based in any sort of reality. Toss my decades of study on ancient civilizations out the window. Base a world on D&D. Not on any particular D&D world form TSR or WotC, but take the props, take the mechanics, and craft a world that makes sense. So, the world has lots of places for the PCs to go and get experience points, instead of lots of places to go buy mead and torches and doorknobs and palantirs. I think this is a completely new paradigm I am dealing with here. For me, at least. I think some other people may have worked this way for a while.
Enjoy the map. I'm slowly zooming into what I intend to be the main campaign area. I've discovered that some guys from my old 4e group are interested in flying in the wayback machine, so I may need to zoom faster. But what is displayed is a closer view of the Gulf of Labrys Basin.
Click to em . . . make bigger. You'll notice that I was watching Star Trek while drawing the map - a very dangerous prospect indeed.
Oh, the boy was drawing his own map as I was drawing mine. We'll get it up on his blog tomorrow probably. It completely rocks.
- Ark
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Of My Heart Now Baby
First off, I'd like to apologize. I am deeply sorry for getting a Carly Simon song stuck in everybody's head. I'd like to rectify the situation by installing some Janice into your ear. Go on. Take a listen. I'll be here when you get back.
Don't you feel better now? Good.
Now I'd like to welcome The Boy, my son, to the world of Blogging. He has crafted a blog entitled Most Impressive and it is impressive . . . most impressive. He even mentioned D&D so he's pretty much an OSR Blogger now. So go on over and say "Hi" if you so desire. He is currently doing the 'happy dance' upon learning that school will be closed again tomorrow. The fourth day in a row. Somebody please save me.
And the picture? That's an actual photo of him. Okay, not really. I drew an avatar for him when Fairly Odd Parents was all the rage. Looks just like him though. Still.
Oh, and I am so pumped about this Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Episode of Community coming up tonight (whatever the heck Community is.) Yeah! Chevy Chase! And a drow! Less yeah!
- Ark
Don't you feel better now? Good.
Now I'd like to welcome The Boy, my son, to the world of Blogging. He has crafted a blog entitled Most Impressive and it is impressive . . . most impressive. He even mentioned D&D so he's pretty much an OSR Blogger now. So go on over and say "Hi" if you so desire. He is currently doing the 'happy dance' upon learning that school will be closed again tomorrow. The fourth day in a row. Somebody please save me.
And the picture? That's an actual photo of him. Okay, not really. I drew an avatar for him when Fairly Odd Parents was all the rage. Looks just like him though. Still.
Oh, and I am so pumped about this Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Episode of Community coming up tonight (whatever the heck Community is.) Yeah! Chevy Chase! And a drow! Less yeah!
- Ark
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I Bet You Think This Song Is About You
Vanity publishing! Yes, I have just done it! I've been slinging around a pile of short stories at poor, unsuspecting publishers for years. Regretfully, they were on to me and I've never had anything published. Well, not anymore!I stitched together the best ones (and a couple of odd poems) and come up with 90 whole pages of content. If you act now, you can get all of this in a pdf for free. Okay, if you act in a hundred years, you still can get it all for free in a pdf. This is really just an excuse to bundle up all my old work so I can start fresh in this new decade. I really enjoy them, but it's time to go send them to human lands where they can meet a wife and have children.
The cover has absolutely nothing to do with the stories. You may recognize the little red dude. Yeah. He's up there growling too. Hey - I bought the picture - I'm going to use the picture.
I also made a hard copy version available. That's really just so I can print out some copies for the family. If you really want to buy it - go ahead - but I warn you - I haven't even seen a copy and have no idea if it looks horrific or not. I did edit and proof the actual contents over the last few years - so that should be halfway decent. But how the printed bit looks - no idea.
What you get inside:
Table of Contents
The Value of a Second - (sci fi vignette)
Where to Play - (post apocalyptic Beatles story)
Dawn at Olympus - (the gods must be drunk)
Tech Support Mantra - (outsourcing poem)
Don't Cleanse Your Scent Glands for Me - (smelly sci-fi)
Robert E. Howard’s Last Manuscript - (what evil lurks in Cross Plains?)
Drops of Jupiter - (mopey sci-fi)
Bacon Ranch Salad y Happy Meal - (um, not really sci-fi, more geek)
Reflections - (hard sci fi)
Customer Service - (throbbing sci-fi)
The Squirrels - (RUN!)
Beacons of Light - (power suits galore)
Lyman Alpha Blobs - (astrophysics poem)
Sidebar - (what hath man wrought?)
The Transformation of Harvey in the Valley of the Butterfly Spores - (thump thump)
Ode to a Tachikoma - (Ghost in the Shell poetry)
Here is the Link - > The Value of a Second and Other Flights of Fancy
Enjoy! Or, well, don't enjoy. Your choice. :)
- Ark
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Fish in the Sea
Today my son asked me when I was going to sign us up for the Living Forgotten Realms games happening this weekend. I came clean with him. I told him that with the RPGAs inclusion of Fortune Cards in the LFR campaign, we would no longer be playing. I could no longer support an organization that ran a role playing game where you could get additional character benefits the more cash you shelled out.
He went to his room and cried.
I hate Hasbro and WotC and the RPGA for forcing that decision on me. But it is my decision, and I stand by it.
My son eventually calmed down and we had a deeper discussion about rightness and wrongness and fairness and treating people with respect. There are many more gamers outside the RPGA than inside. We will find more people to play with. And there is a nearly endless variety of games to play.
I do realize game designers' families gotta eat. I do not think this is the right way to go about it. But it's not my company - and I can walk away.
We are now deciding what do on the weekend. The Superbowl is here, so there is no point in even trying to drive on that roads Saturday or Sunday, so it's a good time to stay in. He's thinking about it and will get back with me later. :)
Stay warm.
- Ark
He went to his room and cried.
I hate Hasbro and WotC and the RPGA for forcing that decision on me. But it is my decision, and I stand by it.
My son eventually calmed down and we had a deeper discussion about rightness and wrongness and fairness and treating people with respect. There are many more gamers outside the RPGA than inside. We will find more people to play with. And there is a nearly endless variety of games to play.
I do realize game designers' families gotta eat. I do not think this is the right way to go about it. But it's not my company - and I can walk away.
We are now deciding what do on the weekend. The Superbowl is here, so there is no point in even trying to drive on that roads Saturday or Sunday, so it's a good time to stay in. He's thinking about it and will get back with me later. :)
Stay warm.
- Ark
Monday, January 31, 2011
Moses in the Rushes
So my son and I were clearing off the kitchen table,
getting ready to play our first official Labyrinth Lord game. Denis the Fighter's character sheet was laden
with scattered dice.
I love back story, so I ask my son, "So where does
Denis come from? A big city, a medium
town, or a small village?"
"A great big city," he hopped up to my desk and
pointed the rough draft of the Gulf of Labrys basin. "He was born there, in Norlun."
Hmm, I had intended to start off in Oshtan, which was
more to the south west. Oh well, I could
deal with that.
"Okay, so . . ."
My son wasn't finished.
"And his parents were killed when he was two and he was adopted by
dwarves."
I blinked a couple of times. That completely messed up my whole non-racial
fraternization concept for the world. I
began to imagine baby Denis in a basket made of reeds floating down the
Nile. Oh well, I could deal with that.
I scanned the map.
"There are some nice mountains near Norlun right here. I suppose there could be some dwarves living
here." I nervously looked at the
big word DUERGAR in the mountains. Oh
well, I could deal with that.
"No," he shook his head, pointing to the mountains
with DWARVEN STRONGHOLDS written on them.
"That is where his parents live."
I began scratching my beard. That was over 1,200 miles away from his
home. How in the hell did the two year
old Denis get all the way over there.
The dwarves, in my mind, certainly were not much for travel. They only hit the road if the needed a
Burglar to sneak into lonely mountains.
My mind raced.
"That's a long way away. Why would Denis' parents be anywhere near the
dwarven mountains?"
Of course, the Peanut Gallery had no answer.
"They must have been merchants," I muttered. “
Desperate merchants looking to strike a deal with the dwarves. They would have had to have gone through
here, the NEUTRAL ZONE, which is full of thieves and outcasts of society. They they'd have to brave the Lands of the Goblinkind
to get to the Dwarven Strongholds."
My son nodded.
"The Goblins killed his parents."
"Aha," I nodded back. "It all makes sense now. The dwarves rushed to help the humans, but it
was too late, and all they could save was baby Denis."
"The dwarves taught him to fight and vanquish
anything in his path."
"Vanquish?"
"Yes, it means . . ."
I chuckled, "I know what it means." We sat down and I began to flip to the back
of the Labyrinth Lord book.
"What's that?" he asked.
"Oh, it's a little adventure in the back of the book
I'm going to take Denis through."
"I don't want to do someone else’s adventure. I want to do one of your adventures. Your adventures are much better."
I watched the entirety of my plans go up in smoke. I took a deep breath. I could deal with that.
"Okay . . . so Denis is . . . at his home, in
Jarlsberg . . ."
The boy shook his head.
"It should be a cool name.
Like . . . like . . . Thornhold."
I smiled.
"Okay, So Denis is with his mother and father, Helga and Jarn . . .
Bronzebottom . . ."
"Just Bronze." he said.
"Okay, Denis is deep in the bowels of the Dwarven
Fortress of Thornhold, a hollowed out shell of a mountain. It's normally dark, since the dwarves can see
heat,"
"Like a snake?"
"Like a snake.
But Denis' parents have always carefully lit their home so that Denis
could see well and not stub his toes. So
Helga and Jarn dressed Denis up in the family armor and gave him a sturdy
shield and mighty sword. Then his mother
says 'We've taken care of you all these years, my son, and loved every minute of
it. We've taught you all we can teach
you. It's time you made your way to the
human lands. You need to learn about
being a human. You'll make human friends
and find a human woman to love and have a family with. You can't do that here - only with other
humans.’"
I watched as my son's face began to drop and it almost
looked like he had a tear in his eye.
"It's okay," I said softly. "It's time for Denis to go have adventures now."
"I know Dad," he looked at me, "But Denis
is really sad. He wants to go on
adventures, but Denis loves his mom and dad a lot and will miss them a
bunch."
I nodded and gave him a minute.
"Ready?"
He nodded yes.
"Okay then, Denis' mom and dad hug him and warn him
about the goblins and send him on his way."
He smiled great big.
"Okay, I leave home and go off into the wilderness. Do I see any goblins?"
"As a matter of fact . . . you do."
Okay, now that is why I play.
- Ark
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)





