Friday, March 18, 2011

AAAUUUGGGHH!!!

Some of my earliest memories involve sitting on my mother's bedroom floor with my little sister and tracing the Peanut's characters from comic strips and redrawing them into new scenes.  I've always loved comics - and web comics makes the addiction so much easier - so much more focused into the odd niches that interest me.

Below is a list of comics that I've read religiously for a good long time - comics that have not failed to make me smile.  I know that I am probably missing some very important rpg related comics that I just never have gotten around to.

So, in the interest of sucking more morning work time away from my boss - please send me more.  I showed you mine - now you show me yours.  :)

Scott Kurtz' Player vs. Player - http://www.pvponline.com/

Obsidian's Commissioned - http://www.commissionedcomic.com/

Jeph Jacques' Questionable Content - http://questionablecontent.net/

Randall Munroe's XKCD - http://xkcd.com/

Tycho and Gabe's Penny Arcade - http://www.penny-arcade.com/

Phil Foglio's Girl Genius - http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php

Zach Weiner's Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - http://www.smbc-comics.com/

Ashby, Jones, and Weiner's Snowflakes - http://www.snowflakescomic.com/

- Ark

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Harry Blackstone Copperfield Gandalf Fizban Polgara Merlin Stephens Rincewind Malfoy Mordenkainen Avatar Elminster Majere Dresden

I remember seeing some advertisement for a TV show a while back. The Dresden Files, I believe they called it. My first thought that it was odd to make a show about the firebombing of Dresden. Perhaps I watched too many World War 2 documentaries as a child. It seemed to be about some wizard private eye. How stupid. Almost as stupid as the vampire private eye shows from a while back.

Then, a couple of years later I think, I heard about an rpg based on the the show. That seemed even stupiderer. I quickly filed that in my 'to avoid' mental file. Tossing magic and monsters into the present day in an rpg reminded me too much of the whole White Wolf Wave. Blech.

Just recently I saw a blog with one of those 'NOW READING' blurbs, and on it was some book about this Harry Dresden character. I don't remember which blog. I didn't realize there were books. I wondered if the books came first, but that is about all the thought I gave it.

Then I happen to see the audio book for the first book, Stormfront, by Jim Butcher.  Against my better judgement, I picked it up.

I just finished it.  You know what?  I like it.

Stormfront is a great mix of film noir private eye pulp and arcane sorcery.  There are mob bosses, vampires, prostitutes, vampire prostitutes, evil plots (really evil plots) and talking heads.  It reminds me a lot of an HBO movie from about 20 years ago with Fred Ward in it - a movie I really liked called Cast A Deadly Spell.  If I remember correctly, Ward's character was just a private eye.  Dresden makes a great gumshoe - always on the wrong end of a fist.  But he is a cool wizard was well.

I was really impressed by Butcher's writing style.  It flowed well and was very evocative.  I really liked how Dresden was portrayed as well - a great character.  Some of the writing is pretty schticky - but that is kind of the whole point.

I suppose everyone else in the world has already heard about, read, or seen the Harry Dresden stuff before.  I chose to stay away - and I think it was a good choice since I got to stumble into the book before the TV series.  I don't know how the show is, but I would image, like all adaptations, it's watered down.  But I'm actually interested in seeing it now.

But not before I read the rest of the books.

I do wonder about the rpg.  Was that any good?  The magic, as the first book describes, is pretty dang cool.  It would seem to be a fun genre to romp around in.

So, if you haven't already, go read Stormfront.  It's pretty nifty.

- Ark

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Good Dice Hunting

After learning more about the Order of the d30, I wanted to go get one of those strangely shaped things.   I decided to forgo the online experience and honor my FLGS.  There are two decent gaming stores within comfortable driving distance, so the boy and I set out for adventure.  I call one the stores the 'Grumpy Man Store,' and the other the 'Cool Dude Store.' 

The 'Grumpy Man Store' is run by the Grumpy Man(tm) and his Grumpy Employees.  It is a store with an amazing amount of gaming stuff.  There are shelves and shelves of rpg books from big and small publishers, board games, boxes of ancient games stretching back decades, thousands of minis, and various gaming paraphernalia that boggles the mind.  And that is just one half of it - the other half of the store is devoted to comics and all of action figures and resin busts and other stuff involved in that particular addiction.

I have a habit of pissing off Grumpy Man(tm.)  I do this by asking for things.  It's his own fault.  He does that whole 'how can I help you' bit.  He doesn't really mean it.

"I'd looking for some dice . . "

He points to the dice rack.

" . . . some unusual dice . . ."

The vein in his forehead starts twitching.  I get the feeling that I'm about to experience a Grumpy Man(tm) moment.

" . . . in particular, a 30-sider."

His teeth clench. "What the hell?  No.  I don't have any 30-siders.  I never have had any 30-siders."

"Really?  Are you sure? I mean, you've got a lot of dice here." I ask, trying not to smile.  Am I an asshole if I like to wind up other assholes? Hmm, I shall have to ponder that during meditation.

"I don't have the money to stock weird inventory no one could afford to buy."

"So how much would a die like that cost?" I ask. 

He thinks for a second.  "Four dollars."

I shrug.  "That's not much."

"That's not the point.  You are the first person ever, in the history of this store, to walk up and ask for a thirty sided die.  Ever."

"Oh," I nodded.

He turned to his computer near the cash register and smacked the keyboard around, then wiggled the mouse.  "See," he said, pointing to what may have been a porn site.  "The company that makes those thirty sided dice went out of business years ago."

I try not to laugh.  I used to be really offended by Grumpy Man(tm.)  I did my research.  I know that several companies man 30-siders.  I know he was lying.  I've never quite understood why he hates his customers (or maybe it's just me) so much.  I stopped trying to understand a while ago.  To me, Grumpy Man(tm) is less of a store owner and more of a carnival ride.

"Oh well," I said.  "So . . . do you have any 24-siders?"

After the fun at Grumpy Man Store, (it's an absolutely wonderful place to browse games,) we went to the Cool Dude Store.  The Cool Dude(tm) devotes most of his floor space to gaming tables.  His inventory has been shrinking over the years as he makes space for more and more gamers.  He's just about abandoned aisle shelves, instead bolting everything to the walls.

I walked in and ask for a 30-sider.

"Sorry, I don't carry those," the Cool Dude says.  He whipped out a catalog.  "If you want, I'll order you one though.  They are right here on this page.  What color?"

Give the man a prize.  I ordered one.  Heck, I should have ordered fifty.

I did, however, pick up nifty pack of GameScience dice.  I always want to call the company "Science Diet.'  I'm not sure why.  Anyway, it's a twelve-piece set, so not I can roll d3, d4, d5, d14. d16, and d24 with the rest of the uber-geeks - and I can do it with complete randomity.  I think my nether regions just swelled with gamer excitement.

There is a big problem, however.  The beautiful ruby red gems have no color to the actual numbers.  I'm having flashbacks of 1981 all over again.  I'm wondering - rather than whip out my crayon box (yes, I have a crayon box - mine - no they are not the boy's - he has his own and is not allowed to touch my crayons,) I'm wondering if I could color the numbers in some other way.

So, does anyone out there have experience with 'inking' or whatever, dice?  I figure I might could use acrylics, but I'm also thinking that the acrylics won't hold very well and will chip and fall off.  But then again, I just don't know.  Does anyone have experience with this?

Otherwise, I'll have to write a blog entry about how I screwed up a pack of Science Diet dice.

- Ark

Thursday, March 10, 2011

OSR Hot Elf Chick Artistic Challenge

I'm thinking there should probably be one.  Yanno, some sort of competition.  With fabulous prizes donated by wonderful people.  And rules.  And house rules too.

Maybe not just art, but awards for some actual gaming CONTENT as well.   Or is that asking too much?

- Ark

PS I swear this thing is getting out of hand. ;)

PSS - Hmm, the more I think of it, the more this sounds like a good idea - no, not the 'artistic elf challenge' specifically, but an 'awards show' for OSR content.  We could call them the Elfies. People could rent tuxedo t-shirts.  Some guy would even be there taking pictures with his I-phone.  Talk about Glamor.

Hot Elf Chicks

Hmm, on second thought, I think I might be doing this wrong.

- Ark

PS - Oh yeah - SPOON!

PS - Oh, no, I meant - OSR!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Giant Poop Machine

Sometimes I think that Lulu has the slowest shipping in the universe.  The wait for a Lulu book seems excruciating - and that is after I'm done twiddling my thumbs while they print the damn thing.  Where are they mailing this stuff from?  Abu Dhabi?  Not that I'll pay any extra for faster shipping, but you know, it's something to bitch about on a slow day.

So I finally got my copy of The Dungeon Alphabet.  I actually got two copies.  This was by accident.  God help me if I ever order a car on line.  I'll end up with 7.5 metallic puce Honda Accords.

I really had no idea what to expect from Michael Curtis' book.  Plenty of people raved about it, but I didn't see really any good explanations about what the hell it was.  I really figured it was like a kindergarten alphabet book, with D&D monsters in the shape of letters.  Actually, that picture in my head was enough for me to plunk down the cash.

So, it turns out not to be Sesame Street meets Gary Gygax.  Oh well. (I would still by a Sesame Street Meets Gary Gygax book, though - hint hint.)  But what it is is actually awesome.  It's basically randomized lists for all sorts of things - perfect for the gaming table or just to read through.  I was having my son pick random numbers and reading off the entries.  He loved it.

And the art - it's great.  Most of it is by the D&D artists of old.  Even Erol Otus' giant poop machine picture is fabulous - once you get over the shock of what you are seeing.  The boy, of course, loved that one too.   The look and the feel of the book is just - wow.  It's well worth twice the price - which - um - is what I paid for it.  Ooops.  :)

So go get it.

- Ark

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tales from the Razing Zone - Introduction

The names have been changed to protect to innocent.  Filmed before a live studio audience.

The boy finished his character the day before the game.  I really like to name halflings after vegetables.  Chicory Chives.  Magnolia Honeydew. I don't know why, but it always makes me laugh. The boy, however, had another taxonomy in mind.

"Ferrit," he had decided on.  Not Ferret.  No.  That wold be too pedestrian.  So 'Ferrit' the halfling thief had life blown into him by my son.  He also blew the rest of his cash on a saddle and a white pony named Snowfire.

Ron arrived first on game day.  He had been carefully thinking about his character for a month.  Ron rolled up a no-nonsense dwarven fighter-assassin named Spike - armed with a crossbow.

Tim was late.  He hastily rolled, spitting out two jaw dropping seventeens and a sixteen.  Then he flipped though the Advanced Edition Companion, not really familiar with anything before 2e.  Eventually he put one of the seventeens in Charisma and said, "Elven Fighter."

I scratched my ear.  "Um . . . charisma is kind of a dump stat.  There are not really any . . . skills . . . so to speak, that would use it."

He nodded, a wild glint in his eye.  "But there is some kind of reaction roll, isn't there?"

My palms began to sweat.  Tim can be . . . Tim.  This did not bode well.

"His name shall be 'Imbroglio,'" Tim said with much flourish.

I began to ask him if he knew what that meant.  But, of course, Tim very knew very well what imbroglio meant.  He was Tim, after all.

"Interesting," I nodded. "So it's a party of three demi-humans, starting off in a human controlled area where humans don't take too kindly to non-humans.  Sounds fun," I smiled.

"Imbroglio will have a hat - a black woolen one - like Spock - to hide his ear tips," Tim was still buying his equipment.

I made the requisite mechanical rice-picker joke.  Don't blame me.  It's a part of my DNA.

"Can I get 50 pieces of paper with the same thing printed on them? Tim asked.  I nodded and continued.

"Okay, so the three of you have made it to Audrain Keep, which looks like this," I pointed to the Erol Otus picture on the back cover of B2.  "You know that settlements lock there doors at night and won't let anyone in till morning.  It's evening now, and there is a long merchant caravan awaiting entrance at the gates.  You three are behind the wagons, waiting for your turn.  Since you don't know each other, this is a good time for introductions.  A caravan guard is nearby, keeping an eye on the tail end of the train."

"I look at the others," Ron said.

"I'm on my pony," the boy smiled.

"Oh," said Tim, still writing in his equipment block, "Imbroglio has 50 - or however many he can carry - ten foot poles.  Strapped to his back, maybe."

I thought about that.  I really didn't want to ask why.  "Um . .  okay . . . then you look like that old man on the cover of Zeppelin Four."

Tim's eyes brightened.  "Awesome."

"I am Spike.  I am a huntsman and bounty hunter." Ron had his dwarf introduce himself.

Tim smiled.  "My good friend dwarf, that is great news.  I just happen to be here in the wild to capture some ferocious animals so that I might tame them and use them in my show.  I could greatly use your help."

"Show?"

"Yes!  I run the Amazing Spirit Traveling Extravaganza, where I break these ten foot poles over my head to show the amazing power of my god!"

I hastily tried to explain my religious concept for this world in which there was only one actual lawful god.  Tim waved my explanation off. "It's okay.  Imbroglio hears his god speak to him all the time, but the god doesn't really exits.  Imbroglio is stark raving mad."

"Oh."

"Hi there. I'm a thief!" the boy had Ferrit introduce himself excitedly.

"Hmmm," I smiled, "The caravan guard's ears perk up and he starts walking over."

Tim almost leaped out of his chair "'Fine sir,' I say as I hand him one of the pieces of paper.  'Please accept this pamphlet explaining the wonderful miracles my god has bestowed on this land and . . .'"

"The guard nods, mutters something, and gets away from you as quickly as possible.," I chuckled.

"Young halfling," Ron said to my son in a whisper, "You might not want to announce yourself as a thief so close to armed guards.  They tend to get over-excited.  Maybe 'genetleman adventurer' instead?"

"Okay," my son grinned. "I have a pony and a slingshot."

I saw Tim carefully erase '50 pamplets' on his character sheet and replace it with '49 pamplets.'

This was going to be an interesting session, to say the least.

- Ark