Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Google Plus

Well . . . I took the plunge.  Dunno if I'm going to like it or not.  I was no fan of Facebook, but this has some features that I like more - such as the Edie Brickell style friend circles.  What interests me most is the potential for gaming.  No, not Farmville!  Sit down roll dice games.  I attack my enemy with a herring and the DM has to figure out how to calculate that type of games.

The big problem is that even if some of you are on Google Plus, I have NO idea who the heck you are, since most people seem to be using their real names.  ACK.  I'm still Studio Arkhein on Plus and intend to stay that way until they pry the moniker from my cold, dead hands.  Facebook never understood that I really had no desire for my real name to be floating out in the aether and used their evil algorithm to prove to me that Studio Arkhein was not a real name and I should be ashamed for trying to create an account with it.

Anyway, fellow gamers and othersuch people, feel free to search for Studio Arkhein on Plus and friend, um, add me to a circle thingy.  :)

- Ark

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Dungeonspiration: Judith

When I was digging through Renaissance art for inspiration, and not finding much, I stumbled upon Lucas Cranach the Elder's Judith Victorious.  It's a very striking piece, and I couldn't get it out of my mind. 

Look at her over there, dressed up in her Sunday best, tired smile on her face, sword in one hand and the lifeless head of a bearded man in the other.

What?

I had to do some research.

Apparently, Judith was a very popular subject of painters for several hundred years.  She is seen lopping this dude's head off, or lugging it around, in countless painting.  People really dug it.

It comes from The Book of Judith, an old account that the Catholics liked so much that they included it in their bible.  The Protestants - not so much.  Not one mention whatsoever in their bibles.

Seems this General Holofernes was stomping through the Holy Land beating up on people and came to Judith's town.  Well, they had some pretty good defenses, so the General decided to camp outside and issue threats and such.

After a while, Judith, a very beautiful widow, had had enough of it.  She got all gussied up and marched on down to the encampment.  Judith told General Holofernes that she had decided to switch sides and give him all the intel he would need to conquer her city.

General Holofernes fell head over heels in lust.  A couple days later, Judtih got the General drunk as a skunk, stole his sword, lopped off his head, and brought it back home.  Her fellow citizen hung the head from the city wall.

When the General's troops found out, they freaked and ran away.  Judith lived happily ever after.

Online commentary explains Judith's popularity through history as a David vs. Goliath kind of thing - the small and weak defeating the big and strong.  There is another aspect - Judith is the ancient world's Mata Hari, and sexy spies are always in vogue.

I see another aspect, however.  People love hot chicks with swords.  Judith is the Bible's answer to Red Sonja - minus the chainmail bikini, of course.

So go hunt down more pictures in Google Images or find the original text.  It's not a bad little story.  It would make a great background for a high level NPC in a campaign.  Perhaps she has even become leader of her city.  Or maybe she took to the road afterwards righting wrongs.  The story could even be the inspiration for a espionage based D&D adventure. 

Have fun!

- Ark

Nentir Vale - Hexamogrifried

Sully wanted a hex grid on top of Nentir Vale so that proper hexcrawling can be done.

ALLAKAZAM!  (POOF!)

Click to make big


For those of you who don't know, Nentir Vale is 4e's default setting - the 'Neo-Borderlands,' if you will.

The grid is at about 6 miles per hex - not exact - I eyeballed it.  The next step would be to open up Hexographer and translate it - but I'll leave that for someone else. :)

- Ark

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Tale of the Halfling Gardener


Once upon a time, there was a pudgy halfling who spent all day long tending his garden. Then one day his mule ran away. When his neighbor, the cartwright, came by for tea, he told the gardener, "I'm so sorry, That's horrible news."

"Maybe," the halfling gardener replied, puffing on his pipeweed.

The next day, the mule returned to the gardener's home, bringing three other mules in tow.

"Four mules?" the cartwright exclaimed, "You could sell some and buy a cart. How wonderful!"

"Maybe," the halfling gardener replied, puffing on his pipeweed.

The next day, the mules ate all of the gardener's radishes and carrots, then their eyes began to glow red and they turned into giant, ravenous were-mules. Crazed for blood, they squeezed into the chicken coop and ate all of the birds and eggs, then went to sleep.

"Holy crap!" the cartwright hissed from across the road, not daring to set foot near the gardener's home. "You must be cursed!"

"Maybe," the halfling gardener replied, puffing on his pipeweed.

The next day, an army of orcs tromped through town. The one-eyed leader decided to raid the gardener's property for food. When the orcs got to the chicken coop, the were-mules leap out.  Orc body parts flew in all directions.  The were-mules killed all the orcs, ate them, and ran off to parts unknown.

The cartwright stood staring at the gardener, jaw almost scraping the road. "Truly, you are the most lucky halfing alive!"

"Maybe," the halfling gardener replied, puffing on his pipeweed.

--

(lovingly ripped off from The Parable of Taoist Farmer.)

- Ark

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

ゴジラ・モスラ・キングギドラ

Gojira, Mosura, Kingu Gidora: Daikaijū Sōkōgeki
The Boy and I just finished watching Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack. His response was rather surprising. He liked it.

Several years ago, there was a marathon of old Godzilla movies.  I watched them, giddy as my six year old self ever was at watching giant lizards, moths, turtles, and three headed dragons beat the snot out of each other.  The Boy - around six at the time - turned up his nose big time.  Apparently, the monsters looked too stupid to live and he'd rather eat liver than be forced to watch.

Then tonight I stumbled on Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack.  It came out in 2001, but I had never heard of it.  I was struck by how much it felt like the old monster movies of my youth.  This was definitely no Matthew Broderick style Godzilla, and it wasn't some stupid robot Godzilla thing (sorry Mechagodzilla fans, but I didn't like that movie at all.)  There were dudes in rubber suits, rinky-dink models of helicopters and destroyers, bad explosions, clearly out of scale flames coming from monsters and buildings, tons of senseless violence and death of innocent by-standers, and Godzilla was THE BAD GUY.  In short - it was glorious.

And what's more, the Boy whooped and hollered and cheered as the monsters battled it out as if he had been a pro-wrestling fan.  "Smash him!  Sling him around by the tail!  He'll never survive that.  OMG!  Mothra took a direct hit!  The missiles just bounce off!  He's only been resurrected two times so far Dad, not three - get it straight.  Mushroom cloud time!  They are fighting underwater!  When three heads shoot golden lighting at you, it's all over, buddy!"

There is some attempt at a story.  Apparently now Godzilla is the raging angry spirit of everyone killed by the Japanese Imperial Army during WWII.  Blah blah blah.  Whatever.  You can safely ignore any of that babble.  I mean, really, we are here to watch giant monsters destroy things and each other.  

I recommend the movie wholeheartedly.  Well - for the right sort of person.  You know who you are.

Of course, I got to thinking during the movie and wondered 'how the hell would I handle a Godzilla like monster in a regular D&D game?'  I am not shy about throwing high level monsters at low level players.  But freaking Godzilla?  If he decided to walk through the player's home town - well - it's more like a hurricane that an encounter. At most the party could piss him off - if he noticed at all.

I don't have any answers for that question - but I'd like to figure something out.  When the players end up shipwrecked on the Island of Irradiated Giant Monsters during sparring season, I need to have a plan. :)

- Ark

Monday, July 4, 2011

Vornheim Type IV

With apologies to Zak
"Dad?" the Boy asked me as we were driving to Sonic.  "Remember when you said Labyrinth Lord was like going home for you?  You wanted to go back home, and you did?"

"Yes," I nodded, remembering that and several blog entries that I had written revolving around the concept.

"I've been thinking," the Boy started.

Uh oh.

"You know, I started with Fourth Edition, and that's my home," he looked at me.  "I want to go home."

Oh crap.  Done in by my own figure of speech. 

Busted.

The Boy has put up with my OSR shenanigans for half a year now.  He followed me down Nostalgia Lane and even gave Jim Ward and Frank Mentzer a run for their money.  He has more than earned the right to play what he wants.

"Okay, okay, I get it," I chuckled.  "Let's play some 4e."

But how?  I thought about the various RPGA and Encounters stuff from WOTC - but that style of play epitomizes the worst of what 4e has to offer.  I looked at several gaming groups - but so many of them are switching to Pathfinder these days.  I thought I had someone to DM - but come to find out he'd much rather play.  So looks like I'm going to have to bite the bullet and RUN 4E AGAIN.

After meditating on the subject for some time, I think I can deal with it.  But this time it's going to be different.  I'm going Old School.  Screw balanced encounters.  To hell with the fully portioned level appropriate treasure parcels.  And skill challenges?  Those were lame anyway.  They get tossed out on the side of the road.  I'll keep the mechanics that the boy likes, but I'm not doing boring or stupid crap to 'complete the harmonic 4E balance in flux.' 

And I'm going to run Vornheim.

I read Vornheim during my vacation and was amazed.  Zak's really got something great here.  I'd say award-winning.  My initial thought was to use it verbatim - but I'm rethinking that.  I think  I'll teleport Vornheim to a post-apocalyptic Earth half a million years in the future - Dying Earth-ish.  I don't like cold, so rather than frigid, I'll put it on the the Texas Coast.  That ought to do the trick.  A few tweaks here and there and I'll be done.

That still leaves all of the battle mats and minis.  I got a box load of little monster pogs with the Monster Vault.  I'd like to use them, but I guess that the players are going to want to use their minis.  The Boy certainly will.  And fighting a cardboard pog with a gloriously painted metal mini might seem a bit lame.  Oh well, something to think about.

If anyone has any thoughts on making 4e palatable - without changing the basic mechanics - let me know.  The Boy's birthday is coming up, and I'd like to have it all ironed out before then. :)

- Ark