Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cold Steel's Great Sword

I had no idea a sword could do this, much less that a sword that could do this was being sold via infomercial.  Here is my advice: set aside nine minutes and five seconds of your life and watch this thing.  ALL the way to the end.  Makes you rethink AC.

I don't know how many times I swore out loud.  I had no idea there was such a things as sword porn.  Freud would be proud.




TWO HANDED GREAT SWORD
Specifications:
Weight: 109.5 oz.
Blade Thickness: 7/32"
Blade Length: 39 7/8"
Handle: 15 3/8" long. Leather Wrapped
Steel: 1055 Carbon
Overall Length: 55 1/4


http://www.coldsteel.com/twohandedgreat.html

- Ark

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Hanky Code

Okay, I guess I'm not done with all the sex talk from my last post, so here we go again . . .

Throughout the last couple of thousand years, western society has not been very kind to homosexual men.  Life imprisonment, castration, and death have been common punishments - either state prescribed or mob-induced.   It is not surprising that gay men developed secretive ways of communicating with each other.  One such way is the hanky code.

Exactly where, when and how the hanky code came about is still debated, but it involves dangling a hanky or bandana out of one's pocket (rear, normally) to advertise a particular kink, slant, or sexual interest.  The left side indicates tops, or a do-er, while the right side indicates a bottom, or do-ee, and color and patterns get down to the specifics of the interest.  Those specifics are outside the scope of this blog, but remember, Google is your friend.

So how would you use this in an RPG?  In a game with a modern setting, you can use the code as-is.  I'm sure it would be great for confusing the heck out of a pack of investigative PCs - especially if the players have never heard of 'flagging.'  For science fiction based games - imagine a hanky code that includes rishanthra - with colors and patterns indicating species.  Oh Mr. Niven - you sly dog you. ;)  

You could do something similar in a fantasy setting.  But that is not what originally got me on this thought experiment.  I don't really make gender inequality - or sexual preference inequality - a feature in my games.  I just assume that, overall, the people of these worlds don't really care.  The players bring enough of their own baggage in, anyway.

In fact, in my new city-based campaign Vayniris, the headless bureaucracy that runs the place actually promotes homosexuality.  They've got 30+ million people to deal with in the city.  They certainly don't want more.

So who is repressed in Vayniris?  Who needs a secret code? 

Well, my first thought is thieves and other hooligans.  'The Man' is always coming down on them.  Rightfully so - yeah - but they are still in need of secrecy.  So I think that a hanky code would be a great addition to a thieves' cant.

It could work like this:  a thief who offers a particular set of services - such as pick-pocketing, second-story work, or kneecap-breaking would wear a set of handkerchiefs in one way.  A person looking for a burglar or assassin for a particular job could wear a bandana in another way.  So at the 'black market bar,' the customers and service-providers can, just with a glance, know whether they should talk to one another or not.

There is probably a lot to think through in such a thieves' hanky code, but it's a start. :)

- Ark

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Erotic Fantasy

During our game tonight, one of my players piped up that he had recently come into a batch of old D&D books that he really wasn't interested in, and asked if we wanted any.  He mention that one was an erotic D&D book - and I said "Sure, I'll take a look at it, at least."

He said that if his girlfriend saw it, she would probably freak big time.  What he brought back from the car was a rather beat up copy The Book of Erotic Fantasy.  "Oh, that thing," I laughed.  "Sure, I'll take it."

Having done a brief perusal through the book tonight, and I'm just amazed at the controversy.  It's been a while, but I seem to remember some people were quite upset about this book.

It's got some boobs in it, there are dildos too.  And there is a brothel.  And it talks about sex and BDSM and magical ruffies and pregnancy times for elves.  Perhaps I am too jaded - but so what?

There was a lot of sex in our D&D games when I was a teenager.  We weren't hot chatting across the table or anything, but everyone needed to know the charisma of the tavern wench, the big bad vampire lady had to be wearing a leather bustier, and all of the princesses wore magical chastity belts with 'automatic blade de-incentives' for protection.  Some characters would get married to NPCs and have lots of children. The hormones raging in our pimply bodies ensured that something regarding sex was uttered at least once in ever five minute time span.

I'm not exactly sure what the problem was when The Book of Erotic Fantasy was released.  Was it the kid issues - and the assumption that only kids played D&D?  Well, I think you fix that by just not selling it to kids.  Other titles get sold to only adults, right?  I know that at 14, I sure as heck couldn't go into the 7-11 and by a Playboy.  There is some kind of system, right?  I had to find my porn out in the woods behind a dumpster like all the other kids.  I never could figure why people were THROWING AWAY PORN, but hey, their loss.

Well, anyway, this book seems to have a lot of neat things to spice up an adult RPG game - even if you go nowhere near any brownchickenbrowncow moments.  I mean, what campaign couldn't be improved with a Crop of the Mistress or the Gnomish Kama Sutra?  Okay, yeah, I'm far from vanilla. :)

I told the Boy he could see it when he was 18.  He was okay with that.  Girls have cooties, doncha yanno?

- Ark

Friday, July 15, 2011

Vayniris Snow

I did a little sketch of Vayniris - the city that I mentioned in my Re-skinning Vornheim post.  In one part of the planet, it's a somewhat dreary, cloudy day.  In another part, it's a winter wonderland.  Luckily, georgraphy doesn't stop - or even slow down -Vayniris streets. :)

Click the city to see it bigger.

I can't quite draw Zak's sprawling mutant tower things yet - just plain, boring Germanic half-timber affairs.  I'll work on it.  But not this week-end.  It's the Boy's birthday weekend - and we just got back from the LEGO store - so it's time to build.. :)

- Ark

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dungeonspiration: Bloggers

I'm going to take a different tack here on this week's column.  Rather than presenting something that may be inspirational at a game or campaign level, I'm going to focus on something that inspires me at a DMing level.

When I first began to look at blogs for information on RPGs, I ran into Philippe-Antoine Menard and his blog, Musings of the Chatty DM.  He was writing very interesting articles about the 4e games he was running, including his tinkering with the rules.  One of the things that I noticed was that 'Chatty' was very emotional about some things - seemingly too emotional about things that happened in his game, and he was almost OCD about preparing for games - setting up incredibly complicated and obsessively thought out encounters.

I wondered if there might be something wrong with him.

As I continued to follow his blog, I realized that if there was something wrong with Chatty, then that same thing was wrong with me.  I think about RPGs a lot.  I think about campaign worlds and encounters and PCs and rules quite a bit.  I can get pretty emotional if a game is tanking - or some corporate idiot is screwing with a system I enjoy.  Here was a guy who really cared about his games, like I did, and he was spewing all of his feelings - his highs and lows and inbetweens - all over the internet.

I had really never seen anything quite like it.

My formative RPG years were spent out with the tumbleweeds in West Texas.  Not a lot of gamers, needless to say, and even less DMs.  I taught myself how to play from Holmes, and my players learned how to play from me.  There wasn't really anyone to talk to about being a DM.  I would start talking about it to the players, but they would look at me like a restaurant patron would at a cook who came out, sat down at the table, and began to moan about how hard it was to cook the steak. 

"Get back in the kitchen, ya bum!"

So for the better part of three decades I've sat alone it my kitchen, serving up piping hot adventures to the lunch crowd.  On rare occasions, I'd go eat at someone else's restaurant. Normally I'd be disappointed at the flavor (not enough care liberally sprinkled throughout the meal) and skulk back home.  But I never talked to other cooks about cooking.  I mean DMing. :)

I began to read quite a lot of gaming blogs.  I found that I was drawn to the OSR Blogosphere and its fringes - not just because of the gaming subject matter, but where the bloggers were coming from.

So many OSR bloggers open themselves up and talk about their dreams and feelings and triumphs and disappointments.  In exploring the way other DMs are, I find similarities in myself.  Finding that I am not alone in a lot of my little quirks and big personality features is comforting, but it also helps me look inside and investigate more deeply into my psyche. 

By looking at you, I am more able to learn at myself.  In seeing how you handle problems, prepare for games, and think about your campaigns, I am better prepared to succeed as a DM.

I'd like to thank all the bloggers who expose little bits of themselves to the internet.  I know it can be hard.  Revealing yourself can drawn the folks who like to thow tomatos.  Sometimes those tomatos are full of razor blades and can hurt quite a bit.  Learning how much to show is an art.  But I want you to know that your efforts are appreciated, and I try to follow in your footsteps and share myslef with other gamers through this blog.

So keep on sharing and inspiring! :)

- Ark

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Re-skinning Vornheim

http://geistig.deviantart.com/art/medieval-city-30478361
Last night I kicked off a campaign using Zak's Vornheim as a basis.  It went exceedingly well - with a bit of fiddling.

Zak never really intended Vornheim as a setting in and of itself.  In his words, "For me it was just sort of What I Do When The Girls Stay Home Instead of Go To The Dungeon. I never imagined I'd run a whole campaign with them never leaving the area."  I looked at his book and thought differently. After some cognating, I came up with some ways to transform Vornheim into my vision.

Versioning: The first point is that I'm running the city with 4e Essentials for the Boy.  Yeah, there is some actual physical pain that stabs into my temple with the thought of that - but there it is.  So any encounter stats have to be adjusted.  That's pretty easy, actually.  HD into Levels.  Poof.  Well, sorta POOF, but you know what I mean.  And races and deities from 4e all get shoved into the funnel, as well as Vornheims own batch.

Rename: I need to pee on something to claim ownership, I guess.  I had a horrible time long ago trying to run MERPs because tromping around in Tolkien baby seemed like heresy.  If I'd have just renamed Middle Earth to the Lower East Side, I might have had more luck.  So my city shall be Vayniris.  That's pronounced like vein iris.  It actually means something regarding the setting, but no one cares about that but me.

Location: Vornheim is Vast.  Vornhein is Cold.  Vornheim is a frikkin freezer.  Brrrrr.  I don't like cold.  I don't even like imagining somewhere that is cold.  While it's a wonderful motif for Vornheim, Vayniris needs something different.

Actually, I spend a lot of mental cycles thinking about location.  I could see the benefit of locating the city on a coast, or landlocked, or in a desert, or in a swamp, or on a savannah, or heck, even back to the Vornheimic tundra.  I just couldn't make up my mind.

But then I though - why do I have to?

That's when all the bits of Vayniris fell into place.

Vayniris has been continuously inhabited for thousands of years.  Originally it was the capital of a small kingdom run by a king interested in empire building.  When he conquered another kingdom, he would have his wizards create permanent magical portals from his capital to the newly conquered capital.  The portals were huge affairs - some reaching hundreds of feet wide and high.  Vayniris absorbed countless cities this way.  The King was able to march his armies almost instantly to wherever they were needed.

Eventually, Vainiris became the center of a worldwide empire.  The worldwide empire.  In some parts of the city ofVainiris it was dry, while other parts were rainy.  Night fell on parts of Vayniris, while at the same time, dawn broke.  The layout of the city became so complicated that it was impossible to draw it on a single sheet of paper - or 100 sheets.  Perhaps an auto-cad program located in the 13th dimension could do the place justice.

The Empire eventually failed, and city of upty-ump-million people became an enormous city-state.  Centuries went by.  The rulers of Vayniris found the task of running the city so difficult that they just packed up their bags and walked away.  Management fell to the massive, headless bureaucracy, much like the way Zak describes for Vornheim- with the Palace Massive, the Eminent Cathedral, the towers, the bridges, etc.

There isn't much reskinning needed, after that back-story.  It all pretty much fits into the standard set-up for Vornheim.  Zak does a wonderful job describing a crazy city, huge in scope and chaotic in organization.  I just increased the scope, added myriad weather patterns and day/night cycles, imbedded thousands of 'far-gates' into the fabric of the streets, and tossed in the some 4e stuff.

This make my ADHD style personality happy.

In actually play - I must say - it rocks.  I've tossed out every suggestion from WOTC about how to DM 4e and am relying on Mythmere's Quick Primer for Old School Gaming as a basis on how to play, coupled with Zak's notes in Vornheim and my own preferences.  The players seem quite happy and I had fun.

So thanks, Zak, for providing me a platform in which I can have fun with 4e again.  The Boy is indebted to you as well, but isn't really aware to what extent. :)

- Ark

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Google Plus

Well . . . I took the plunge.  Dunno if I'm going to like it or not.  I was no fan of Facebook, but this has some features that I like more - such as the Edie Brickell style friend circles.  What interests me most is the potential for gaming.  No, not Farmville!  Sit down roll dice games.  I attack my enemy with a herring and the DM has to figure out how to calculate that type of games.

The big problem is that even if some of you are on Google Plus, I have NO idea who the heck you are, since most people seem to be using their real names.  ACK.  I'm still Studio Arkhein on Plus and intend to stay that way until they pry the moniker from my cold, dead hands.  Facebook never understood that I really had no desire for my real name to be floating out in the aether and used their evil algorithm to prove to me that Studio Arkhein was not a real name and I should be ashamed for trying to create an account with it.

Anyway, fellow gamers and othersuch people, feel free to search for Studio Arkhein on Plus and friend, um, add me to a circle thingy.  :)

- Ark