There be monsters in need of pummeling!
Knights of Badassdom: LARPing never was so cool . . . ever. I mean it. Really.
- Ark
Monday, August 15, 2011
Pundit Larva
Well, looking at the followers number over there - to the right - down a bit - no - more down - yeah - there - I have achieved OSR Blogger level of Pundit. I do believe that this is not an actual good thing, but an indication that I am a type of demon from Hades that talks too much.
I would write up some stats for the Pundit Larva, but - yeah, I'm lazy. You know, come to think of it, I've never even paid the Joesky tax. Not once. When Joesky finds out, I fear I will be severely brawled. I am truly, deeply ashamed.
In other news, the artist who did that baby Huey worm dude is quite awesome. He's TK Miller, and you can check out his stuff over on DeviantArt. My only issue is that, to my knowledge, he is not making 25mm minis.
Thanks for reading!
- Ark
I would write up some stats for the Pundit Larva, but - yeah, I'm lazy. You know, come to think of it, I've never even paid the Joesky tax. Not once. When Joesky finds out, I fear I will be severely brawled. I am truly, deeply ashamed.
In other news, the artist who did that baby Huey worm dude is quite awesome. He's TK Miller, and you can check out his stuff over on DeviantArt. My only issue is that, to my knowledge, he is not making 25mm minis.
Thanks for reading!
- Ark
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Right Tool For the Right Job
I did everything to warn the guys that the Invisible Mountain dungeon was out of their league. They pressed on, not believing me, so I did my darnest to kill them with strength stat sucking shadows and worse horrors. After having their asses handed to them over and over again, they finally decided that the '30 seconds of combat, a day of rest, 30 seconds of combat, a day of rest' pattern wasn't working well, so they went off to greener pastures.
Greener pastures are perfect places for random wilderness encounter rolls.
The party was travelling through a meadowed area within a forest when they heard a thump-thump-thump in the sky. This has happened before. They knew it was a dragon - most likely a green dragon. They ran for the bushes.
Well, except for Thrug. Out of the entire party, the half-orc fighter wasn't fast enough. He sighed, drew his sword, and faced the green dragon bearing down on him.
"Let's do this!' Mervyn, the player, said.
The green dragon snatched at Thrug as he flew by, an easy snack to bring back to his lair. I rolled and . . . missed.
"Can I jump on the dragon's leg as he goes by?"
"Um. I guess. Yeah. You and the dragon jet up 80 yards as it continues its arc." I nodded.
The rest of the party hopped out of the bushes.
"Guys, I got this!" Mervyn said.
We are an Order of the d30 group, meaning that they get to replace one normal dice roll with a d30 each game session. A barrage of arrows, sling bolts, and magic missles flew upwards. The d30 flew from hand to hand as they ripped the dragon to shreds.
"Guys," Mervyn muttered nervously.
The Boy got the killing blow. The party watched the slow plummet of several tons of lizard meat as it fell from the sky, crashing to the ground on top of the hapless half-orc.
"Uh . . oops?"
Some time later, the PCs had dug a tunnel beneath the dragon's corpse to reach Thrug's body, which they began looting.
"Okay, so what do you got?" Ron asked Mervyn, pencil in hand.
Marvyn sighed, looking at his character sheet. "That +1 sword, a shield, a potion of flying, a suit of plate armor . . ."
Mervyn was interrupted by Ron's laughter.
"What?"
I smiled, "Oh, that potion of flying of yours was smashed to bits on impact"
The cog wheels slowly turned in Mervyns head, then it hit him. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I forgot I had that!" He facepalmed, then looked at me. "That was so stupid. You have to put that in that blog of yours."
I chuckled, "Oh, it'll be there alright - you don't have to ask."
I'm begining to wonder why I bother trying to kill them. They do so well all by themselves. :)
- Ark
Greener pastures are perfect places for random wilderness encounter rolls.
The party was travelling through a meadowed area within a forest when they heard a thump-thump-thump in the sky. This has happened before. They knew it was a dragon - most likely a green dragon. They ran for the bushes.
Well, except for Thrug. Out of the entire party, the half-orc fighter wasn't fast enough. He sighed, drew his sword, and faced the green dragon bearing down on him.
"Let's do this!' Mervyn, the player, said.
The green dragon snatched at Thrug as he flew by, an easy snack to bring back to his lair. I rolled and . . . missed.
"Can I jump on the dragon's leg as he goes by?"
"Um. I guess. Yeah. You and the dragon jet up 80 yards as it continues its arc." I nodded.
The rest of the party hopped out of the bushes.
"Guys, I got this!" Mervyn said.
We are an Order of the d30 group, meaning that they get to replace one normal dice roll with a d30 each game session. A barrage of arrows, sling bolts, and magic missles flew upwards. The d30 flew from hand to hand as they ripped the dragon to shreds.
"Guys," Mervyn muttered nervously.
The Boy got the killing blow. The party watched the slow plummet of several tons of lizard meat as it fell from the sky, crashing to the ground on top of the hapless half-orc.
"Uh . . oops?"
Some time later, the PCs had dug a tunnel beneath the dragon's corpse to reach Thrug's body, which they began looting.
"Okay, so what do you got?" Ron asked Mervyn, pencil in hand.
Marvyn sighed, looking at his character sheet. "That +1 sword, a shield, a potion of flying, a suit of plate armor . . ."
Mervyn was interrupted by Ron's laughter.
"What?"
I smiled, "Oh, that potion of flying of yours was smashed to bits on impact"
The cog wheels slowly turned in Mervyns head, then it hit him. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I forgot I had that!" He facepalmed, then looked at me. "That was so stupid. You have to put that in that blog of yours."
I chuckled, "Oh, it'll be there alright - you don't have to ask."
I'm begining to wonder why I bother trying to kill them. They do so well all by themselves. :)
- Ark
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Quantum Reality Gates
Christian has been waxing poetic about Planescape, and it reminded me of what I did when I saw Sigil's treatment in the 4e DMG2. I had never heard of Planescape (yeah, I was asleep through 2e,) but thought the idea was cool. But my head immediately thought - Quantum Reality Gates.
So when my players hit 10th level, I dragged out my version of Sigil. I adjusted the City of Doors to have, not only doors to other planes, but doors to other quantum realities. What this meant was that the city was PACKED TO THE GILLS with alternate versions of the PCs - and alternate versions of their friends and enemies too.
It was quite fun, and pretty confusing too. This one evil drow lady who had dogged the party for 5 levels - then was finally killed - popped back up in Sigil as a bartender. A very nice bartender.
The dwarf in the party, Malgrim, was amused when a pack of Malgrims ambushed the party and tried to kill them. He was upset - and even insulted - when he found out that all of the Malgrim's were just minions - 1 hp wonders. He felt that his brethren should be much more powerful than that.
The thief - Dash - in the party went through a hell of a time. It seems that one of his alternates had become the grand poo-bah head of the city-wide thieves guild, and wanted to eliminate all copies of himself in the city. Poor thief.
It was pretty fun - especially playing the players PCs in the PCs faces.
- Ark
PS - Oh oh oh - and I made LADY versions of the PCs too. How fun!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Dungeonspiration: John Martin
One of the guys who I chase with dragons on the weekends turned me on to an artist named John Martin. Martin was active in the first half of the 19th century. His paintings are epic. Not in the way that The Boy uses the word. Martin's vision was BIG, his scale HUGE, and his topics LEGENDARY. He painted pictures of places where D&D characters should be travelling to.
As well as a painter, Martin was a fencing master, an engraver, and an amateur sewer engineer. He hung around scientists, engineers, and science fiction writers, played chess, and experimented with mezzotint technology. Okay, let's cut to the chase. The dude was a glorious English nerd-boy and geek extraordinaire.
The scenes John Martin painted and engraved just amaze me, and get my mind going at 90 miles an hour. I want to design D&D adventures to fit these images. Go chase his stuff down on Google. I bet you will too.
- Ark
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Something's Rotten In the State of Vornheim
BRIEF VORNHEIM SPOILERS - STAY AWAY IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY.
In our Vayniris campaign last week, I heard the players grumbling about lack of character options. At the campaign start, I had limited the characters to just using 4e Essentials character classes and options. I listened and thought about it. Expanding the options and classes didn't really make my life any more difficult - just theirs - so I opened the floodgates. The players could use any race, class, or option available in the character builder.
Everyone rebuilt their character for tonight's game.
Tim made a warforged. For those in the know, that is basically a magic metal robot. His class was a mentalist (or something like that,) which basically meant that he was a psychic magic metal robot. Tim played him very much like C3-PO, but not meaning to. I had to point it out to him - though I still dont' think he believed me - even though he had named the character THREE.
So the guys were in a bad guy's house in Vayniris - straight outta Vornheim. They were in the middle of a fight in the entryway. It was a big room, and the PCs were nicely spread out - all far away from each other. One was even running into the next room - the kitchen - chasing a minion. You know - perfect 4e split the party set-up. It was so perfect that Wil Wheaton's ghost almost materialized.
Well, I took that moment to have a nasty creature of Zak's pop out of a doorway and go for the closest character - which was the Cleric of Pelor - Sunny. The creature's attack ignored her armor and dissolved Sunny's scale mail into goo with one strike. I was happy with myself. Rarely does anything like that happen in 4e. A player's possessions are pretty sacrosanct. Only a real bastard would melt someone's armor.
Heh Heh Heh.
Tim's eyes bugged out. His turn was next. His magic robot took one look at the metal dissolving beast and ran out of the room. He ran out into the road and continued running down the road.
Everyone else busted out laughing uncontrollably. I started laughing so hard . . . I laughed so hard . . . well . . . I laughed so hard that I farted.
I think no one heard because of the laughter. I said sorry, but no one responded - I think because of all the noise form laughing. I hope it was because no one heard any of it.
Oh well. They all know now - or soon will. But dammit - it was worth a fart. It was damn funny.
This is why I role play.
Well, not to have an excuse to fart in public - but - well . . . I should probably just shut up now.
- Ark
In our Vayniris campaign last week, I heard the players grumbling about lack of character options. At the campaign start, I had limited the characters to just using 4e Essentials character classes and options. I listened and thought about it. Expanding the options and classes didn't really make my life any more difficult - just theirs - so I opened the floodgates. The players could use any race, class, or option available in the character builder.
Everyone rebuilt their character for tonight's game.
Tim made a warforged. For those in the know, that is basically a magic metal robot. His class was a mentalist (or something like that,) which basically meant that he was a psychic magic metal robot. Tim played him very much like C3-PO, but not meaning to. I had to point it out to him - though I still dont' think he believed me - even though he had named the character THREE.
So the guys were in a bad guy's house in Vayniris - straight outta Vornheim. They were in the middle of a fight in the entryway. It was a big room, and the PCs were nicely spread out - all far away from each other. One was even running into the next room - the kitchen - chasing a minion. You know - perfect 4e split the party set-up. It was so perfect that Wil Wheaton's ghost almost materialized.
Well, I took that moment to have a nasty creature of Zak's pop out of a doorway and go for the closest character - which was the Cleric of Pelor - Sunny. The creature's attack ignored her armor and dissolved Sunny's scale mail into goo with one strike. I was happy with myself. Rarely does anything like that happen in 4e. A player's possessions are pretty sacrosanct. Only a real bastard would melt someone's armor.
Heh Heh Heh.
Tim's eyes bugged out. His turn was next. His magic robot took one look at the metal dissolving beast and ran out of the room. He ran out into the road and continued running down the road.
Everyone else busted out laughing uncontrollably. I started laughing so hard . . . I laughed so hard . . . well . . . I laughed so hard that I farted.
I think no one heard because of the laughter. I said sorry, but no one responded - I think because of all the noise form laughing. I hope it was because no one heard any of it.
Oh well. They all know now - or soon will. But dammit - it was worth a fart. It was damn funny.
This is why I role play.
Well, not to have an excuse to fart in public - but - well . . . I should probably just shut up now.
- Ark
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